關於 it's good to hear from you意思 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients

我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久，今天過後實在忍無可忍，一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。

我年紀很大了，受不了太大的刺激。

拜託，你們可以Zoom好來嗎？😓😑

一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角

護照自2020年起就已成為古董，但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧！

對了，就是要頭髮整齊，讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀，到胸部。

我批八字時，需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外，這樣很像鍾無艷，也不要嘴巴不見掉，這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。

我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的，看相就是需要那麼仔細。

如果你的螢幕太低，那就找書本或舊報紙，把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴，會把你的面相比例給看錯。

不要一直告訴我不好意思，方法是人想出來的。

•

二、光線

太暗，我看你如見鬼。
太亮，我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾，不要背向陽光。
有必要的話，就直接開燈！

•

三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖

什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦～

我的家美最重要，我不在乎你的家美不美，我只是來看命的。

如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強，電腦功能不是很厲害，這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。

有時你轉個身，整個右邊不見了，或部份的頭髮少了，讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片，嚇人啊～

•

四、環境和聲音

有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊，特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧，讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍

沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人，往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音，如果他們本身講話又小聲，我的耳機聲量開滿，我還是聽得滿辛苦的

也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室，就是為了不受家人的干擾，能安心的與我視訊。😍

最有趣的是，去年新加坡阻斷措施時，有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大，我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。

曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲，頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵，哇～我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪，還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。

天啊，兩次過後，我寧願退錢，也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對，我要保護好啊！

在這裡聲明：一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機，就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人，我一概會拒絕諮詢，把費用原銀奉還。

五、孩子

曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘，一直被女客人的小孩打擾，進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。

如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童，會時不時來敲你的門，我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心，無法聽好我交代的事，而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子，就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字，這樣對誰都不公平。

六、我只見客人一人

這個規矩，從我一出道就定下來，也清楚的寫在網站上，根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。

但這兩個星期，還是有客人硬闖關，事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面，要他們聽我講他的八字。

我從不改我的規矩，也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。

讀書這麼高，連自己的命都不能自己負責，這已經不是能改到命的人了。

你一定要你的配偶陪你聽，那你需要的不是我來教你改命，是你的配偶來安你的心。

將來若還有這樣的事，我會直接中斷視訊，把錢退回去。

七、「我第一次用Zoom！」

可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢，你有兩個月的時間去摸索。

兩個月，怎麼還是錯誤百出？因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。

結果我就這樣等了20分鐘，還得等對方下載軟件。

Zoom不難使用，但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索，就不要撒謊，直接說，我就直接退現錢。

品德是改命的資糧，不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊，還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎？

小事都不願做好，絕對不會成大器。

八、暈車

有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。

重點是，他一支手拿著手機，一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫，另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上，移動一下，手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊

我一天如果見三個這樣客人，我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後，頭也會痛得厲害，無法完成晚上製片的工作。

沒有自拍器三腳架，也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。

各位，多點善心，為我著想一下吧⋯⋯

__________________________

To My Dear Zoom Clients

I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.

I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.

Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?

Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.

Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.

I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.

When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.

If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.

Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.

Number 2: The background lighting.

Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.

Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.

Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.

If necessary, just turn on the lights!

Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.

There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.

If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.

•

Number 4: Background environment and noise.

Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.

Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.

There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.

I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.

Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.

Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!

A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.

•

Number 5: Children

There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.

You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.

•

Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.

I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.

But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.

I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.

If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.

If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.

•

Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"

But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.

Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.

Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?

•

Number 8: Giddy spells

Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.

If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.

Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.

Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......

#尋人啟事
#胡湘荷妳在哪裡

我的母親已八十歲，
疫情期間，
母親常在電話跟我聊一些過去的事情，
母親的記憶力非常好，
從她十歲開始到現在，
她幾乎能記得所有的事情。

當然，
她記的幾乎都是些令人心碎的事。

就像她的妹妹＿
我的小阿姨，
跟她失聯了四十三年的事，
一直讓母親忘不了。

小阿姨屬猴，
64歲、
1956年出生。
大約1977年離開緬甸，
去到泰國投靠大舅，
又輾轉在1978年左右去了加拿大。
之後，
就失去了聯絡。

自從有網路以來，
我就幫忙母親在各種尋人版上刊登過尋人啟事，
但都沒有下文。
可能是刊登的資訊不齊全。

四十三年前，
小阿姨從緬甸到泰國又到加拿大，
可能證件、姓名等都跟原本的不一樣了。

近期，
與我母親通話，
母親又提到失聯的小阿姨。
她叮嚀我們是否能幫忙她再找找看。

母親今年八十歲，
她很想知道她的小妹，
是否還活在這世界上？

附上母親說的話，
她讓我公佈在網路上。

希望有緣，
我的小阿姨能看到。

Midi 於永和
2020 April 12

#胡湘荷
#尋人

胡湘荷，妳在哪裡？

阿湘，
我是妳的二姐胡明珠。
我們分別有好長一段時間了。

妳離開緬甸時，
我二兒子才剛出生，
都還不滿一個月，
妳來看他時，
還說：
「他的臉白白的，
是不是我給他擦粉？」
現在，
我二兒子四十三歲，
我呢，
已經快滿八十二歲，
八十多歲，
是老人了。

人家說，
人愈老記性愈差，
我是相反，
我的記性反倒是愈老愈好。
但是，我能記住的，
都是些傷心的事情。

也許，
我們這代人，
也沒有什麼快樂的事情可以記住。
就像妳的離開，
我們從此失去聯絡，
想起妳，
就讓我難過。

妳還活著嗎？
我想妳會活得好好的。
妳有幾個小娃了？
過得怎麼樣呢？

四十三年前，
妳離開腊戌時，
妳還在腊戌漢人學校唸書。

有天放學，
我去攔住妳，
跟妳說：
「妳以後每天下課後就來我家吃飯，
別去大姐家吃了…」
妳說：「好」。
妳也就跟著我到我家吃飯了。

我還記得，
妳才剛坐下，
我不知怎麼搞的，
就說了那些話。

我說：
「大姐讓妳以後來我這裡吃飯，
別去她家吃了，
讓妳三姐去她家吃，
妳三姐不挑嘴，
妳比較挑嘴…」。

這些話，
是大姐跟我說的，
我當時太懵，
太老實，
我也不曉得，
為什麼要說這些大姐講的話？
為什麼要講給妳聽？

我完全，
沒有擔待不了妳的意思呀。
不管多窮，
姐妹間互相照顧都是應該的，
我轉述大姐說妳的那些話，
是沒有任何理由的，
就是我以為是姐妹之間的聊天，
講出來而已。

我那時候過得很困難，
養著六個小娃，
病死了兩個。
但是，
照顧自己的妹妹是天經地義的。

那天，
我邊說就邊到廚房去炒菜，
難得妳來這裡吃飯，
總要多一樣什麼菜才行。

我炒完菜端著出來，
妳就不見了。

當時，
房東許老嬤嬤還在場，
她說，
「我轉進廚房，
妳就站起來走了…」

我那時才發覺；
我講錯話了。

妳這麼敏感的人呀！

我一路追著妳，
追到大水塘路上＿
到妳跟妳三姐住的地方，
妳正在哭。
妳正在哭著跟妳三姐吵架，
妳跟妳三姐說：
「二哥寄來的錢分來…」
妳三姐不敢應妳，
在旁沉默著。
這筆妳要的錢，
確實是妳二哥寄來給妳們兩姐妹的生活費。

那時，
媽媽剛去世不久，
大哥人去了泰國；
在泰國北部滿堂安了家，
家裡所有的兄弟陸續去了泰國。
而爸爸因為沒身份證在貴概被移民局抓住，
送到仰光坐滿九年牢，
緬甸政府正打算著把他送到台灣去的時候…

那天，
我看著妳哭，
我就明白了妳的心情。

妳三姐在準備跟她愛人私奔，
在腊戌妳也只有大姐、我和妳三姐了。

我和大姐早結婚，
各自已有有家庭。
如今妳三姐又要嫁人，
大哥他們又遠在泰國，
母親去世，
父親坐牢。
妳接下來就要孤苦零丁的一個人生存了。

一個十八歲的女孩。
我知道妳的害怕和難過。

那天，
看著妳哭，
我很後悔把大姐說的話講出來。

妳應該了解我的。
我一直都盡力照顧我的家人，
當時從雲南背著妳逃難到緬甸邊境，
背了一天一夜。
我都是自願的。

妳記得嗎？
妳到腊戌讀書時，
很想要一條件仔褲，
那時許多人都買不起，
我還是費盡力氣買給妳。
妳知道我是心疼妳的。

妳離開腊戌的那天，
妳說妳要去泰國了。
臨走時，
我拿了300塊錢給妳，
妳知道嗎？
那時候我拿出300塊錢緬幣是到處借來的錢呀。

阿湘，
我知道妳一直都在受苦，
去到泰國，
大嫂可能待不得妳，
妳二哥、三哥他們當時也沒能力照顧妳，
妳在泰國又沒有合法的身份；
哪可能有其它去處。

最後妳選擇結婚，
我想也只是為了解脫這些難過的生活罷了。

之後，
就聽說妳嫁了人，
跟著丈夫家去了加拿大。

之後，
我就再也就打聽不到妳的下落了。

我們最後的連繫，
停留在泰國北部滿堂，
或是停留在泰緬邊境美賽，
我都有些記不得了。

那時，
聽說妳從大哥家跑出來了？
又聽說妳去暫住在一對老年夫妻的家裡？
這些，
都是後來傳到腊戌的消息了。

妳去加拿大前，
還寄來給我和大姐和妳三姐每個人一件衣裳布、
一條籠基。
三份禮物裡夾著三張白紙，
寫著：「大姐的、二姐的、三姐的…」。
我還記得，
那是託「義號佛堂」楊前人帶來的禮物。

那條籠基到現在我還留著＿
孔雀花紋的。

阿湘，
我這個作二姐的也羞愧妳了。
當時，
聽到這些關於妳的困難的消息，
只能每天想念著，
想到傷心，
我沒有任何能力。

那時，
我是，
連從緬甸腊戌到泰國邊境的車票都買不起呀。
當時我養著這麼多小娃，
吃一口飯都難。

阿湘，
現在講這些都只是回憶了，
都是我們老人家的回憶，
都不重要了。

那為什麼還要講這些呢？
就是，
為了，
想讓妳看到，
看到這些我說的話，
證實，
我是妳的二姐而已。
想讓妳知道，
我一直在找妳。

我活到八十歲，
夠了，
人活這麼老沒什麼意思，
都盡是傷心的事情。

我不知哪天會死去。
但如果可能的話，
在死去之前，
能讓我知道一下妳的消息。

我想知道，
妳在哪裡？
我想知道，
妳還活著嗎？

阿湘，
爸爸十幾年前已經去世，
大哥六年前去世，
連大姐，
前年也不在世上了。

妳二哥；
他住在泰國山邊荒地裡，
幫人家看田地，
過得不是很好，
但也不用擔心，
我在泰國的二兒子和大姑娘時常會去照顧他。

妳三哥，
講到也是讓我難過呀。

他大前年腦出血，
去醫院醫好了，
但醫好後，
很奇怪，
突然忘記了漢人話，
只會講泰國話。
後來不久，
他就偷偷上吊自殺了。

你說，
我們兄弟姐妹這是什麼樣的命運呢？

阿湘，
我們家沒剩下什麼人了，
妳三姐、妳四哥還在泰國。
還有我，
我還活著。
我還在緬甸，在腊戌。

除了妳，
我們一家人也就剩下這三個人了。

阿湘，
我們已經分別已四十三年，
妳也有六十多歲了吧？
我很想知道，
妳在哪裡？
妳還活著嗎？

如果有緣，
妳看到這信，
就回我一下吧。

妳的二姐胡明珠，
日日夜夜，
在等妳的消息。

二姐胡明珠　於緬甸腊戌
2020 年4月11日
姪Midi代筆

找人信箱：humingju1638@gmail.com

**************
#notice for a missing person

translated by Jane Lin
****************

Where are you, Hu Shine-Ho?

Ah-Shine,
This is your 2nd sister, Hu Ming-Ju. It has been a long time since we last saw each other. When you left Burma, my 2nd son was not even one-month-old. You asked why he was so fair-skinned? Had I put powder on his face? Now, he is 43 and I am almost 82.

Eighty something...I am indeed an old woman! People say that you lose your memory as you age. I am quite the opposite. The older I get, the better I remember! But, what I remember is nothing but sadness. Perhaps, our generation just doesn't have much happiness. Like you leaving home, we losing contact forever…. The thought of you puts me in such despair. Are you still alive? I imagine you living a good life?!! How many children? How are you?

Forty-three years ago, you were still a student at Chinese High School in Lashio. One day after school, I went to intercept you, "From now on, come to my home after school. Don't go to 1st sister's for dinner anymore." You said, "OK" and followed me home.

I still remember clearly that you had just sat down and I said, "The first sister asks that you come to me for dinner. She will take 3rd sister who's easy-going, not like you, a picky eater." I don't know what possessed me that day? Why I had to tell you what 1st sister had to say? Was I too naive? Too honest? Too stupid? I had absolutely no intension not to take care of you - we are sisters!!!! We have to care for each other, no matter how poor we are!!! The first sister's words just came out as a casual chat between sisters. Nothing more!

Life was tough for me at the time. Diseases took away two of my six children. But that didn't mean I would ignore my God-given responsibility as your elder sister. Without realizing the impact of my "casual chat", I went into the kitchen wondering what additional dish I could come up with for your first dinner with us. When I came out with the dishes, you were already gone! According to our landlady, Granny Hsu, you just got up and left as soon as I was out of sight. Only then did I realize my stupid mistake and how sensitive you were! Immediately, I ran after you, all the way to Big Pond Road where you and 3rd sister stayed. You were crying, asking 3rd sister for the money that 2nd brother sent. 3rd sister just kept quiet.

Indeed! The money that you demanded from 3rd sister was to cover living expenses for both of you. At that time, Mother had already passed away. The first brother went to Thailand, had already settled his own family in Pong Ngam. All the brothers followed suit. Father got caught in Kutkai by the immigration for not having an I.D. and had been in prison in Rangoon for 9 years. The Burmese government was just about to send him to Taiwan…. That day, while watching you cry, I understood how you felt. The third sister was getting ready to run away with her lover and both 1st sister and I were married young with our own families to deal with. As an 18-year-old with no mother, a father in prison, you must have felt all alone, sad and very scared.

I was filled with regrets watching you that day. But, please understand that I have always tried my best to take care of my family. When we escaped from Yunnan to Burma as refugees, I carried you on my back all day and all night without any complaints. When you went to Lashio for school, you wanted a pair of jeans so badly, remember? It was such a luxury that most people could not afford. Yet, I gathered all my might to get you a pair. You know I always have a soft spot for you, don't you? The day you were leaving Lashio for Thailand, do you know how many places I had to try to gather 300 Burmese kyats for you???

Ah-Shine, I know it was a huge struggle for you in Thailand. It's impossible that 1st sister-in-law would put you up. Second and 3rd brothers were in no position to help you….. I suppose you were pushed into marriage, just to end this desperate situation. Last I heard, you moved to Canada with your husband. From that point onward, in spite of all the efforts, I just couldn't find any trace of your whereabouts.

Our last contact stopped at Pong Ngam, Thailand. Or, was it MaeSai? I can't quite remember now. The news came to Lashio that you had run away from 1st brother's home. Later, you were temporarily staying with an older couple….

Before leaving for Canada, you sent, via Abbott Yang of the Yi Buddhist Hall, a package for us - each gift had a piece of dress fabric and a longyi, clearly labeled on a piece of white paper: "for 1st sister," "for 2nd sister," "for 3rd sister." I still have that longyi, with a peacock pattern, after all these years!

Ah-Shine, I feel deeply embarrassed to be your elder sister. Upon hearing the challenges that you had to face at the time, I could do nothing but worrying and feeling sad. I couldn't even afford the bus fare from Lashio to the Thai border. I barely managed to feed my own children!
Ah-Shine, What's the use of talking about these old memories? These sad memories of us old people have no importance but to serve to show you that I am indeed your 2nd sister.… that I have been looking for you all these years.

To live in my eighties is more than enough for me. It's not much fun to live this long - just a lifetime of sadness. I have no idea when I will die and I don't really care. I just wish that I could hear from/about you before I leave this world. I want to know where you are. I want to know if you are still alive.

Ah-Shine, Father passed away more than a decade ago. The first brother left us 6 years ago, so did the first sister 3 years ago. The second brother works as a field caretaker in a remote Thai mountainside. It's not a good life, but both my 2nd son and first daughter are also in Thailand; can visit and take care of him often. The saddest is our 3rd brother. He had a stroke 3 years ago. After recovery, he suddenly forgot his Chinese, could only speak in Thai. Not long after, he hanged himself! Please tell me what kind of fate has been bestowed on our siblings??? What is the meaning of life???
Ah-Shine, There aren't that many of us left, only 3rd sister and 4th brother in Thailand and me still in Burma. In Lashio.

Ah-Shine, We have been apart for 43 years. You should be in your 60s by now. I really would like to know if you are still alive and where you live. God willing, you will see this letter and reply!!! (humingju1638@gmail.com)

Waiting to hear from you, day and night!

Second sister, Hu Ming-Ju
Lashio, Myanmar
April 11. 2020

當國外一片叫好對新科技phase歡呼中，DJ Rob Swift提出了不同的思考方向。
　
猜想他也不是全然反對，因為他也用Rane62跟djm-s9等數位產品。他的說法在於大家太容易隨便就接受了新科技取代人工這件事然後沒有疑問思考。「我沒聽說一個吉他手會抱怨他的琴弦一直壞掉需要換，他只是繼續換掉它然後繼續演奏」然後他舉了影片當例子，DJ Aladdin在比賽中左右交換時唱針多次跳針，通常這樣會搞亂原本既定的段子難以處理而亂掉內容，但Aladdin馬上用經驗跟記憶去判斷唱針大約跳針的位置且很快的用不同風格改變演出的內容，而且最後完成極美好的90秒旅程。
　
2000年後科技跳躍至電腦控制器跟各式樣的樂器跟DJ數位門檻降低，完全不需任何技術即可使用，至今2018更多厲害不費工的器具誕生不該只是為了服務商業跟讓一般人去消費玩耍，這些器材公司這些年來漸漸的沒有尊重DJ或音樂人來設計產品，而是強迫他們來為自己設計的產品代言，說實在這些產品大都缺乏了真正的DJ創意精神或音樂概念而且功能都很糟很表面功夫。
　
如果只是有錢跟圖方便，就算是擁有了多少台先進鼓機樂器合成器跟數位DJ器材，在演出大家看起來都一樣很沒意思。

I've been quiet all weekend about phase. Actually, practicing silence has been my method of operation as of late when it comes to the corny DJ shit I be seeing from so many of y'all. But this morning I woke up to a video of a guy lifting a control record off the turntable with that phase gadget still attached to it, making a mockery of scratching to be honest, and I just couldn't fight off the compulsion to speak my peace on the subject.

People are so removed from the truer days of DJing they get easily sucked into technology hype. The DJs I see salivating as they look on while one of their DJ heroes is testing out the product will never be remembered or respected for the new DJ software being pumped into the scene by corporations that honestly care more about getting your money than whether or not you're developing your skills. The only true path to building and cementing your legacy in this art is down a one-way road called Practice Street.

It's to the point now where soon muhfuggas are just gon' be like... "Fuck it, I'm cool wit' letting technology do all the work for me. This way things can sound perfect and we don't have to worry about needles breaking or any of the stuff that DJs naturally deal with."

*I've never in my life heard of a guitar playing bitching about his guitar strings breaking. Dude just replaces it and continues playing.

Here's rare footage of DJ Aladdin's first round set in the 1989 New Music Seminar for World Supremacy. The beauty within the 90 seconds you're about to see/hear lie within this routine's imperfections.

Timeline
0:13 - Aladdin releases the right turntable and starts his 90 second round.

0:15 - Aladdin begins to obliterate the left turntable with some of the most aggressive scratches I've ever heard him execute in all his battles. *I think the sound he chose to manipulate (the word "Goes" from Orbit's "The Beat Goes") plays a major roll in his cuts sharpness.

0:29 - By now, Aladdin swaps over to the right turntable and starts going back and forth between both decks. Prepping to showcasing his "Juggling" abilities.

0:38 - Aladdin launches the right turntable and it skips on him.

0:41 - Once more Aladdin sets up to launch the right turntable and it skips for a 2nd time. It's obvious by now he's trying to "Juggle" the words "BEAT GOES" on both turntables but something is wrong with the right deck.

0:44 through 0:47 - You see Aladdin feverishly trying to launch the right table from the start point he intends but it refuses to cooperate. (*See 0:43: Aladdin gives the right deck a quick glance. He knows something is wrong).

0:48 - You could tell that as Aladdin is trying to trouble shoot the issue he's having with the right turntable he realizes he's running out of time in the round and needs to act fast before the buzzard signaling the round is over is heard.

0:50 - As Aladdin jumps back into some scratches on the left turntable he decides "...to hell with this" and stops the faulty deck's platter and commences to coax an entirely new rhythm from the left turntable. He rides the left table for 24 seconds!!!

1:14 - Aladdin moves back to the left turntable in one last ditch attempt to get that side of his set up to cooperate but to no avail.

1:21 - Aladdin jumps right back to the good ol' reliable left turnable, sets himself up, stops the right platter and improvises a clever escape out of a challenging first round.

I've witnessed my share of DJ battles and I can genuinely say this is one of the most exciting rounds of any competition I've seen. Not so much because Aladdin did something out of this planet or anything. It was that we were able to see an expert in his craft spontaneously figure out a way to work around the technical difficulties he experienced in his round. I so miss that rawness man. I've seen battle DJs cave in to that tension and end their round early. But when you're the pedigree of an Aladdin, you stay cool, calm and collected and rise to the occasion and figure out a way create magic anyway!

That coolness, that calmness, the skill you see in this video was cultivated from years of walking down Practice Street. I suggest a lot of y'all take a stroll down that road. You'll find yourselves there.

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腳本：
上個月我拍一集說 Last month I film this video 我錯了！ I was wrong! 恐慌不好,沒有錯 Panic is not good, true 但是 but 防疫不夠更糟糕！ Not enough prevention is worst! 糟糕到引發 Worst till the point to lead us to 西班牙末日！ The end of Spain! 世界末日 The end of the world 你準備好嗎 Are you ready? 還好，我已經有口罩 Okay, I already have masks 感謝我的朋友 Thanks to my friends 因為你們本來把口罩搶走 Because you took all masks away 搶光光 All of them  COW杯 cow-bei 看來 It seems 疫情很嚴重 The epidemic is serious 靠腰，陰屍路到了 It's "the walking dead " 在這部影片 In this video  我沒有辦法說這句話 I can not say this 因為YouTube 不會讓我賺錢喔 Because YouTube won't make me money 謝謝YouTube  Thanks to YouTube  COW杯 Cowbei 這次我要拍 This video  像一些人的 Like some guy's 比較短的影片 It's short 重點是 The point is 西班牙 Spain 我以前的國家 My previous country 輸給臺灣 Lose to taiwan 西班牙輸了 Spain lost 臺灣 Taiwan 幹得好 Well done  對，沒錯 Yes yes 親愛的朋友 My dear friends  西班牙很糟糕 Spain is bad 臺灣做得非常好 Taiwan is doing very well 我口乾有一點渴 My mouth is a little thirsty 爽 Cool 這個故事告訴我們什麼？ What did this story say? 在這樣 In  世界末日 The end of the world  的情況下 In this situation 恐慌 Panic 有幫助 Works 不要誤會啦 Don't get me wrong 我覺得恐慌是不好的 I think panic is bad 但是在這種情況下 But in this situation  如果你要選 If you need to choose 過度 Over  或是不足 Or insufficient 過度比較好 Over is better 什麼意思？ What dose that mean? 臺灣從一開始 Taiwan from the beginning 好熱 So hot 臺灣人就恐慌了 Taiwanese panic 搶口罩 Grab mask 引發我買不到 So me can't buy any 咳咳 (Coughing) 不是不是 No, no 是我暗示你們很cow杯 I hint you guys are very cow-bei 從一開始 At the first time  臺灣人一直在噴酒精 Taiwanese have been spraying alcohol 但是西班牙人 But the spanish 已經有很多人得病 Already many people got sick 還會去參加很多人的活動 And go to lot of people's events 引發連政治人物 Even politicians 都生病了 Are sick  都得了 They got it 不過西班牙人跟臺灣人 But the Spaniards and Taiwanese 有兩件事做得一模一樣 Two things are done exactly the same 一，政治人物用這個 First, politicians use this 來攻擊彼此 To attack each other 來互罵 Come scolding each other 都是蔡英文的假新聞 It's all fake news from Cai Yingwen 這個是國民黨扯後腿 This is the KMT pulling hind legs 對，西班牙更嚴重 Yes, Spain is worse  真的很cow杯 It's really bad 第二件事 Second 是在這個情況之下 Is in this situation 大家 People  愛 Love 搶衛生紙 Grabbing toilet paper 在臺灣 in Taiwan 民眾狂搶衛生紙 People fight for toilet paper 因為謠言指出 Because rumors point out 衛生紙與醫療口罩原料相同 Toilet paper is the same as medical mask 可能會影響衛生紙產量與價格 May affect tissue production and prices 歐伊系 Yummy 這個算是美食節目嗎？ Is this a food show? 趕快按讚啦 Hurry up and like 百萬YouTuber YouTuber with more than one Million subs 為什麼 why 大家 everyone 愛搶衛生紙？ Love fight for toilet paper? 有人可以幫我解釋嗎？ Can someone explain it for me? 沒有你、沒有你、沒有你 Without you, without you, without you 不能沒有你 Can't live without you 寶貝、寶貝！ Baby Baby! 這樣 is because 比較安全嗎？ Is it safer? 要不要這樣出門？ Should I to go out like this? 也不錯 Not bad 我要告訴你們一個秘密 I want to tell you a secret 今年的新希望 My new goal for this year was 是申請臺灣國籍 Apply for Taiwan nacionality 本來想要回去西班牙辦這件事 I wanted to go back to Spain to do this 現在我不知道什麼時候可以回去 Now i don't know when i can go back 但是有一件事 But one thing 很清楚 is very clear 無論如何 no matter how 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 小英，妳聽到嗎？ Little Tsai, do you hear me? 拜託妳 Please 沒問題 no problem 哦給 OK 謝啦 Thanks 因為臺灣表現得很好 Because Taiwan is doing very well 我已經在做這件T恤 I am already making this t-shirt 你們可以告訴大家 You can tell everyone 臺灣安全 Taiwan is safe 你們不是從武漢來的 You are not from Wuhan 為臺灣驕傲 Proud of taiwan 這個就是 This is 靠，我愛台灣 的意思 The meaning of Damn I Love Taiwan 現在懂嗎？ Do you understand now? 不過，要繼續加油 But needs keep fighting 西班牙更加油 Spain need it even more 親愛的家人 Dear family 親愛的朋友 Dear friends 拜託 Please 保持安全 stay safe 不要出門 Don't go out 常常洗手 Wash hands often 吃健康 Eat healthy 多休息 Rest more 常常運動 Exercise often 這個是COW杯 This is Cowbei 我是黑素斯 I´m Jesus 掰 Bye 欸？靠T恤我忘記匯款 Eh? I forgot to do transfer for T-shirt 等我一下 wait for me 掰 bye 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 黑素斯沒問題 Jesus, no problem