關於 hold me back意思 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

翻聽Bob Dylan的《Desolation Row》湧起一股莫名的觸動，感覺就像走過了一條漫長的荒涼之路。頭兩句不知怎的讓我想到最近的香港：

They’re selling postcards of the hanging
They’re painting the passports brown

他們販售吊刑的名信片
他們把護照髹成啡色

然後我便分外留神聽接下來發生甚麼事：

The beauty parlor is filled with sailors
The circus is in town
Here comes the blind commissioner
They’ve got him in a trance
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
The other is in his pants
And the riot squad they’re restless
They need somewhere to go
As Lady and I look out tonight
From Desolation Row

美髮店擠滿了水手
馬戲團就在城後
然後來了一個特首
他們將他發入吽竇
一隻手綁住走鋼線高手
另一隻插在褲袋裡頭
還有防暴警察全在煩躁無休
他們需要某個地方抖抖
像這位小姐和我遍夜尋求
由荒涼之路口

然後找到哪裡去？似乎是酒館。

Cinderella, she seems so easy
“It takes one to know one,” she smiles
And puts her hands in her back pockets
Bette Davis style
And in comes Romeo, he’s moaning
“You Belong to Me I Believe”
And someone says, “You’re in the wrong place my friend
You better leave”
And the only sound that’s left
After the ambulances go
Is Cinderella sweeping up
On Desolation Row

灰姑娘，她似乎幾開放
「講嗰個就係嗰個。」佢笑咗
然後將雙手插進後袋
貝蒂戴維斯的風格
然後來了個羅密歐，佢喺度呻吟
「你係屬於我㗎我相信！」
然後有人話：「你來錯地方喇朋友，
你最好離開。」
然後唯一留低的聲音
在救護車走了之後
是灰姑娘的掃地聲
在荒涼之道上

我很喜歡這一種講故事的歌，因為這才叫做「吟遊」。當現在的歌失去了這種吟遊性，就空餘下一堆感質。我們已經不再用灰姑娘來形容負責打掃地方的女人，我喜歡這樣的形容，但設定跟原著是反轉的：掃完地，一到十二點，她就準時穿回自己的玻璃鞋。

然後已經好夜好夜了：

Now the moon is almost hidden
The stars are beginning to hide
The fortune-telling lady
Has even taken all her things inside
All except for Cain and Abel
And the hunchback of Notre Dame
Everybody is making love
Or else expecting rain
And the Good Samaritan, he’s dressing
He’s getting ready for the show
He’s going to the carnival tonight
On Desolation Row

現在月亮就快都看不見
繁星也開始隱淡
占卜未來的女人
甚已將她的所有東西收起
所有除了該隱和亞伯
以及聖母院的鐘樓佗俠
人人都在做愛
或其餘的在等雨
然後有個好撒馬利亞人，他在換裝
他已經準備好出騷
今晚他將會前往嘉年華
在荒涼之道上

突然輪到《哈姆雷特》的女主角奧菲利亞登場：

Now Ophelia, she’s ’neath the window
For her I feel so afraid
On her twenty-second birthday
She already is an old maid
To her, death is quite romantic
She wears an iron vest
Her profession’s her religion
Her sin is her lifelessness
And though her eyes are fixed upon
Noah’s great rainbow
She spends her time peeking
Into Desolation Row

現在奧菲利亞，她就倚在窗旁
我真為她擔心
在她廿二歲生日時
她已經是一個老女僕
對她，死亡是幾浪漫
她穿了一件鐵的背心
信仰就是她的自白
白活就是她的罪名
雖然她已定睛望着上方
那道挪亞的偉大彩虹
但她仍是費上時間來偷望
那條荒涼之路

而你有沒有聽過愛恩斯坦拉小提琴？這一個卻不是那一個，因為他太潦倒了：

Einstein, disguised as Robin Hood
With his memories in a trunk
Passed this way an hour ago
With his friend, a jealous monk
He looked so immaculately frightful
As he bummed a cigarette
Then he went off sniffing drainpipes
And reciting the alphabet
Now you would not think to look at him
But he was famous long ago
For playing the electric violin
On Desolation Row

愛恩斯坦扮成羅賓漢
帶着他車尾廂的回憶
在一小時前才經過這裡
和他的朋友、來自善妒寺的僧侶
他看起來不染得可怕
尤其在他討煙的時候
接着他走去嗅着水喉
叨唸着字母
現在你不會想望到他
但好耐之前他都風光過
奏着電子提琴
在那荒涼之路

從荒涼到荒淫？

Dr. Filth, he keeps his world
Inside of a leather cup
But all his sexless patients
They’re trying to blow it up
Now his nurse, some local loser
She’s in charge of the cyanide hole
And she also keeps the cards that read
“Have Mercy on His Soul”
They all play on pennywhistles
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From Desolation Row

猥褻醫生，他將他的世界
藏在一隻皮杯裡
但他所有無性的病人
他們正嘗試吹起它
現在他的護士，某個本地的失敗者
她是山埃孔的話事人
而她亦藏了一張卡片寫着
「願主垂憐他的靈魂」
他們全都玩着尖哨
你可以聽到他們在吹
如果你把頭傾得夠遠
從荒涼之道

卡薩諾瓦是意大利聞名的詩人情聖，這一段特別令我着迷：

Across the street they’ve nailed the curtains
They’re getting ready for the feast
The Phantom of the Opera
A perfect image of a priest
They’re spoonfeeding Casanova
To get him to feel more assured
Then they’ll kill him with self-confidence
After poisoning him with words
And the Phantom’s shouting to skinny girls
“Get Outa Here If You Don’t Know
Casanova is just being punished for going
To Desolation Row”

對面街他們已釘上帷幕
他們已準備好一場盛宴
《歌聲魅影》
牧師的完美形象
他們用湯匙向卡薩諾瓦灌藥
讓他稍為有安全感
然後他們用自信來殺掉他
之前用文字毒害他
然後魅影向瘦削的女孩們喊道：
「如果你不知道就請你們離開
卡薩諾瓦已經受罪因他
前往荒涼之道。」

接下來這一段，我懷疑是在描寫納粹的集中營：

Now at midnight all the agents
And the superhuman crew
Come out and round up everyone
That knows more than they do
Then they bring them to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene
Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see that nobody is escaping
To Desolation Row

現在午夜所有特工
和超人類團隊
出來圍住了所有人
因為知道了不該知道的
然後把他們帶到工廠
那裡有心臟病機器
綁在他們的肩膊上
然之後那煤油
從城堡裡帶下來
有人會以防萬一
檢查一下看看是否無人能逃
逃往荒涼之路

Bob Dylan這首歌可能戲仿了英國詩人ES艾略特的長詩《荒原》，這首詩的一大特色是沒有人能看懂一個字——每個字都懂，湊起來卻不成意思。之前跟大家介紹過的艾茲拉龐德，勉強把《荒原》翻改成可讀的版本，加了很多註腳，務求令世人讀得通它的真意。這個情節，Bob Dylan也收錄在《Desolation Row》第九節裡面：

Praise be to Nero’s Neptune
The Titanic sails at dawn
And everybody’s shouting
“Which Side Are You On?”
And Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
Fighting in the captain’s tower
While calypso singers laugh at them
And fishermen hold flowers
Between the windows of the sea
Where lovely mermaids flow
And nobody has to think too much
About Desolation Row

讚美歸於尼祿的海王星
鐵達尼啟程於黎明
而每個人都發出喊聲
「你到底站哪一邊？」
而艾茲拉龐和ES艾略
在船長的塔上決鬥
卡利索普歌手取笑他們
漁民手執鮮花
在大海的窗戶之間
那裡有可愛的美人魚流過
此際沒有人想太多
關於那荒涼之路

是的，Bob Dylan是在模仿ES艾略特式的混亂，而在最後一節揭曉了混亂的原因：

Yes, I received your letter yesterday
(About the time the doorknob broke)
When you asked how I was doing
Was that some kind of joke?
All these people that you mention
Yes, I know them, they’re quite lame
I had to rearrange their faces
And give them all another name
Right now I can’t read too good
Don’t send me no more letters, no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row

係呀，我尋日收到你嘅信
（大概在門鎖壞了的時候）
你問我最近過成怎樣
是一個需要笑的笑話嗎？
全部這些你所提及的人
係呀，我知道佢哋，佢哋都幾無趣
我需要重新構建他們的臉容
給他們全都搞混了名字
此際我已經不太擅於閱讀
不要再寄更多的信給我了，不要
除非它們是你寄自
於荒涼之路

聽過這麼多段，就像走完了一段漫長的荒涼的路，有一種想哭的感覺。Bob Dylan的音樂經常都給予的這種荒涼感，只有經歷很多的人才會有這種感覺，寫得出這種詞，流下了這滴淚。

作者

【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients

我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久，今天過後實在忍無可忍，一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。

我年紀很大了，受不了太大的刺激。

拜託，你們可以Zoom好來嗎？😓😑

一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角

護照自2020年起就已成為古董，但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧！

對了，就是要頭髮整齊，讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀，到胸部。

我批八字時，需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外，這樣很像鍾無艷，也不要嘴巴不見掉，這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。

我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的，看相就是需要那麼仔細。

如果你的螢幕太低，那就找書本或舊報紙，把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴，會把你的面相比例給看錯。

不要一直告訴我不好意思，方法是人想出來的。

•

二、光線

太暗，我看你如見鬼。
太亮，我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾，不要背向陽光。
有必要的話，就直接開燈！

•

三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖

什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦～

我的家美最重要，我不在乎你的家美不美，我只是來看命的。

如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強，電腦功能不是很厲害，這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。

有時你轉個身，整個右邊不見了，或部份的頭髮少了，讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片，嚇人啊～

•

四、環境和聲音

有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊，特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧，讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍

沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人，往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音，如果他們本身講話又小聲，我的耳機聲量開滿，我還是聽得滿辛苦的

也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室，就是為了不受家人的干擾，能安心的與我視訊。😍

最有趣的是，去年新加坡阻斷措施時，有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大，我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。

曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲，頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵，哇～我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪，還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。

天啊，兩次過後，我寧願退錢，也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對，我要保護好啊！

在這裡聲明：一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機，就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人，我一概會拒絕諮詢，把費用原銀奉還。

五、孩子

曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘，一直被女客人的小孩打擾，進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。

如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童，會時不時來敲你的門，我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心，無法聽好我交代的事，而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子，就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字，這樣對誰都不公平。

六、我只見客人一人

這個規矩，從我一出道就定下來，也清楚的寫在網站上，根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。

但這兩個星期，還是有客人硬闖關，事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面，要他們聽我講他的八字。

我從不改我的規矩，也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。

讀書這麼高，連自己的命都不能自己負責，這已經不是能改到命的人了。

你一定要你的配偶陪你聽，那你需要的不是我來教你改命，是你的配偶來安你的心。

將來若還有這樣的事，我會直接中斷視訊，把錢退回去。

七、「我第一次用Zoom！」

可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢，你有兩個月的時間去摸索。

兩個月，怎麼還是錯誤百出？因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。

結果我就這樣等了20分鐘，還得等對方下載軟件。

Zoom不難使用，但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索，就不要撒謊，直接說，我就直接退現錢。

品德是改命的資糧，不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊，還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎？

小事都不願做好，絕對不會成大器。

八、暈車

有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。

重點是，他一支手拿著手機，一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫，另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上，移動一下，手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊

我一天如果見三個這樣客人，我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後，頭也會痛得厲害，無法完成晚上製片的工作。

沒有自拍器三腳架，也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。

各位，多點善心，為我著想一下吧⋯⋯

__________________________

To My Dear Zoom Clients

I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.

I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.

Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?

Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.

Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.

I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.

When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.

If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.

Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.

Number 2: The background lighting.

Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.

Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.

Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.

If necessary, just turn on the lights!

Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.

There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.

If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.

•

Number 4: Background environment and noise.

Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.

Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.

There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.

I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.

Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.

Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!

A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.

•

Number 5: Children

There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.

You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.

•

Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.

I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.

But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.

I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.

If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.

If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.

•

Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"

But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.

Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.

Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?

•

Number 8: Giddy spells

Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.

If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.

Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.

Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......

這是讀者send給我的，希望能和大家分享7.21元朗恐襲的情況。
歡迎轉載，讓更多人看見香港發生了甚麼事。

---

〈完美的一天 A Perfect Day〉

尋日（2019年7月21日）爭少少就係完美嘅一天。
It is almost a perfect day yesterday (21 July 2019).
我係一個普通嘅香港市民，八十後、基督徒、亦係天水圍人，尋日係星期日，我如常同太太出返九龍區嘅教會返崇拜，食完個晏就同太太同朋友去咗尖沙咀行街，之後喺海運戲院睇《反斗奇兵4》，然後食完飯就坐西鐵返屋企。

I am a normal Hong Kong citizen. Born in the 80's, a Christian who lives in Tin Shui Wai. Yesterday was a normal Sunday. I went back to church to join the worship with my wife in Kowloon, joined our friends for lunch in Tsim Sha Tsui, watched Toy Story 4 at the Grand Ocean cinema, and went back home after dinner by West Rail.

大約晚上十點幾喺柯士甸站上西鐵，上咗西鐵一切都好平常，直到接近十一點左右去到元朗站，月台上面傳來大叫「有人受傷、需要支援」嘅呼叫聲，而列車亦因為混亂無法開車，我就落咗去大堂睇一睇發生咩事，老婆留咗喺車廂入面。原來大堂果度一班喺閘入面嘅人已經開緊遮，佢哋俾一班閘外面身穿白色tee裇嘅人以木棍、水樽、棒球棍襲擊緊，出唔到閘。我最初觀察白衫人大約有四五十人左右，都係中年，亦有較年長嘅，識講廣東話粗口，兇神惡煞，非常激動。

At about 10pm, we were at the Austin Station, everything looked normal in the West Rail train. Our train arrived at Yuen Long Station just before 11pm, we heard a screaming, "Someone's hurt, we need backups!", and our train was stopped because of this confusion. I asked my wife to stay in the train, while I got off and went down to the station lobby to see what happened. Inside the gate, there were people holding their umbrellas up, defending from a group of gangsters who were all wearing white-shirts, attacking people inside the gate with wooden sticks, water bottles and baseball bats. People were trapped inside. There were around 40 to 50 white-shirt gangsters, mainly in their middle-aged, some were even older, shouted fiercely in Cantonese foul languages with agitation.

閘內地下留有鮮血血跡，我亦望到遠處閘外大堂有一名傷者受傷倒地，不斷俾白衫人凶緊，因為情況太危險我就無出閘幫手。我本身後退緊，打算上返車廂，就喺呢個時候閘內嘅市民突然全部退後，一湧而來，部份人衝入廁所，其他人就喺我身邊經過衝上扶手電梯梯同樓梯上月台，打算入車廂。

There were fresh blood stains on the floor inside the gate. Outside the gate not far away, there was someone injured, lying down on the floor, constantly threatening by a white-shirt gangster. I did not go out and help him due to the dangerous situation and I tended to go back up to the train. At that very moment, people inside the gate were suddenly moved back towards me. Some rushed into the washroom, others ran passed me and dashed to the platform through the escalators and staircase, and planned to reach the train for safety.

我見身邊有人跌倒，想幫又幫唔到手。然後白衫人已經殺到埋身，我正準備跑上扶手電梯上月台嘅時候就俾人從後襲擊咗後腦一下，我一邊跑一邊回望，睇到一個白衫人拎住枝棒球棍對住扶手電梯上面嘅人（包括我）大聲叫罵「 ___ 你老母」（第一個字聽得唔太清楚，請自行填充。）

Someone fell down next to me, I wished to help but I couldn't. The white-shirt gangsters were fast approaching, and I was about to rush back to the escalator. All of a sudden, I was attacked at my hindbrain, out of nowhere! I kept running and looked back at the attacker, it was a white-shirt gangster who was holding a baseball bat, yelling to the people (including me) on the escalator: YOU MOTHER _______ ! (I didn't hear it clearly, fill-in as you like)

我繼續上返月台，之後回頭望佢並無再追上嚟。我同其他乘客求奇衝入咗最尾一卡車廂，本身我都唔知自己流血，後來有其他乘客話我知我流緊血至知自己受咗傷。最後有啲熱心嘅乘客幫我消毒同包扎傷口（回想返先記得我咁大個仔都係第一次用M巾），同埋讓咗個位俾我坐。

I kept fleeing back to the platform, that white-shirt gangster had stopped chasing us. I went in the train with other passengers, and I did not even realized that I was bleeding until someone told me. Some very friendly passengers helped me to clean and wrap the wound (well, that was the first time I used sanitary pad), and nice enough to give me a seat.

過程之中我一邊用電話聯絡返老婆同佢報平安，佢話有人入咗車廂打人。而身邊嘅乘客都好不安，因為好擔心白衫嘅黑社會（我嗰刻至知原來係黑社會嚟嘅）會衝入嚟打人，好想快啲開車。同時亦開始有人話前面車廂（我係車尾）已經打緊，情況好混亂，好多人都好驚同鼓譟。唔知過咗幾耐（好似港鐵出咗聲明「詳細交代事件」，應該有寫詳細時間），我就坐返同一班列車去天水圍站，匯合返我老婆同遇到救護員，送咗去天水圍醫院，聯咗三針。我喺急症室等候期間，都不斷有被打受傷嘅人送入嚟急症室，估計有五至六個都係喺西鐵被襲的。

I was talking to my wife through the phone throughout the whole process. She told me that those gangsters were attacking people inside the train. Passengers around me were extremely worried, we were all afraid that those white-shirt Triad gangsters (now I knew they are Triad) will storme in and attack. We all hope that the train will move out from the station soon. At the same time, people were saying that there were attacks at the train head (I was at the tail), we were all in confusions and panics. After some minutes (looks like the MTR has made a statement regarding the detailed time), the train has finally moved, and I arrived Tin Shui Wai Station at last. I found my wife, we went straight to an Ambulanceman and admitted to the Tin Shui Wai Hospital afterwards, where I had my three stitches done. While I was waiting in the Emergency Room, 5 or 6 more injured people were sent in due to the West Rail attack.

急症室當值嘅警察都有主動問我係咪需要報案，我考慮咗一陣最後都同意咗，後來重案組亦係大約兩三個鐘後嚟同我落口供，佢問完個人資料之後，第一個問題就係問我有無出去遊行。我答無，佢好似有少少疑惑，我就拎返我張染咗血漬嘅《反斗奇兵4》嘅票尾比佢睇，佢先至再繼續同我落口供。最後我搞到清晨五點幾至返到屋企。

Policeman stationed in the Emergency Room has asked if I need to file a report. I had agreed after some consideration. The Crime Unit has also arrived after 2 to 3 hours to take my statement. After taking my personal information, he asked directly, "Did you join the protest march today?" I said, "No". He looked doubt. I took out the Toy Story 4 ticket stained with my blood and showed him, then he stopped questioning me. Eventually, I went home at about 5am.

其實本身尋日都係好平常嘅一日，同老婆行街、睇戲、食飯。之前我一直都有留意社會上發生嘅事，知道社會瀰漫住好多負面情緒。所以尋日我本身都打算俾自己抖一抖，放低時事一日。無奈就喺我休息、喺我最平常嘅生活當中，遇上咗無差別嘅襲擊，正所謂「我唔搞政治、政治一樣會嚟搞我」。我俾人扑濕，一定係我有做錯，而我最錯嘅係咩？我諗應該係因為我睇咗美帝嘅卡通電影。

It was a very normal day yesterday - shopping with my wife, watching movie, have a great dinner. I know what had happened lately in this city and how desperate people are these days. So I planned to have a relaxed day and free from the news. The ironic part is, on the day I was trying to rest and have a life, it was the day I encountered the indiscriminate attack. There is this saying, "you don't mess with politics, politics will mess with you eventually". I was attacked, so I must have done something wrong? What did I do wrong? Oh, I guess it must have been about me watching the American animation.

我知道我受嘅傷，同喺中上環俾警察無預警下開槍射傷嘅市民比，實在係微不足道（其實佢哋更應被關注！）。不過身邊聽到我經歷嘅朋友都好驚、好忿怒，其實我都係好忿怒、好無助，我地都無辦法明白到底點解坐西鐵返屋企會俾黑社會打，而點解警察又唔嚟阻止？但我更加感受到嘅係市民果種恐懼同絕望感，人群閃躲之際有人跌倒，有人落單，大家衝入車廂果陣會唔會發生人踩人？我老婆都陪伴咗個受驚而情緒失控嘅少女。大家都好驚、好恐懼、好絕望、好furious。人係受威脅之下，會出現figh-or-flight的反應，喺腎上腺素嘅驅使之下，一係會反擊，一係會逃走，但手無寸鐵嘅市民被圍困係車廂中被人撳住嚟打，既不能fight , 又不能flight，果種絕望同恐懼的確唔係三言兩語講得明白，往後嘅心理創傷同陰影烙印，可以係一生之久。

Comparing to those protesters shot by the Policemen without warning in Sheung Wan and Central, I was nothing (we should pay more attention to them instead!). But friends around me were shocked and outraged about my attack. To be frank, I was shocked too. Who would imagine that attack will come when I was just taking the West Rail train back home? And where were the Policemen when we need them? And most of all, I experienced the same fear and desperation with the passengers. People were dodging, falling down, left behind, there could be stampede when we rushed back to the train! My wife had also stayed and comforted a young girl who had almost lost control because of the frightening situation. Everyone was afraid, worried, hopeless and furious. When people are being threatened, there is a response called "fight-or-flight". The adrenaline will drive you to either fight back or take flight. Unfortunately, when we were unarmed and trapped inside the train, we cannot fight back, we cannot take flight, there is no word to describe the despair and fear in that scenario. The psychological trauma and shadow can be life-long.

的確，喺某啲人眼中，無論我係幾無辜被打，我走得慢所以我都依然係抵死，又或者一定係我經過元朗所以抵打。但我呢刻已經無力去鬧爆佢哋，咁做對我嚟講亦係無乜意思。我唔覺得襲擊我嘅人有幾大機會會被繩之於法，我亦都唔想停留喺去點樣出呢啖氣。難道戰爭中國家的政府會為一個被殺嘅平民作出調查麼？戰時社會有戰時嘅生存法則，我不得不面對現實：香港其實同戰爭社會已經無乜大分別，香港警隊同呢個政府係點做嘢，我已經無興趣知。

Some people may say, regardless of how innocent I am, that still, I was to blame. Maybe I ran too slow so I was meant to be attacked. Maybe I passed by Yuen Long so I should have known it better. I do not want to debate with their accusations, it is meaningless anyway. In my believe, there is no hope in taking the attacker down in my case, and I have no intention to take revenge. You see, when there is war in a country, the government will not take it serious when a citizen got killed. Wartime society has its own law of survival, and I have to deal with this reality: Hong Kong is in war now, and I have zero interest in what the HK Police Force and the government will take serious into.

但我都仍然想表達，香港人真係好有愛，喺亂世之時，大家都仍然能夠守望相助，我感受到被愛。車上嘅乘客不斷安慰我，不斷喺有限嘅物資之中幫我消毒止血做急救，救護員都幫咗我好多，我嘅朋友本身已經返咗喺市區嘅屋企都衝返入嚟睇我，亦有朋友係專登揸車入嚟，我嘅屋企人陪我喺急症室等通宵。所有朋友嘅安慰、慰問同祝福我都感受到。

There is one thing I must say. Hong Kong people are really full of passion. During this chaotic time, people are still willing to look after each other. I am blessed with their love: Passengers on the train have comforted me, treated my wound carefully when there is lack of first-aid materials; the professional treatment by the Ambulancemen; some friends have even rushed back after arriving their homes in downtown, one even drove his car all the way to the hospital; my family who have stayed with me in the Emergency Room throughout the whole night; all the comforts, loves and blessings from my friends…I am so blessed.

我唔係想講受襲嘅事唔重要，或者我要淡化、粉飾太平，我相信任何一個有良知嘅人都會對所有尋晚係西鐵上無辜受襲嘅市民感到心痛同忿怒。不過，我亦知道我哋呢種忿怒已經無處可容，因為呢個社會嘅制度已經崩壞，極權肆虐到一個點係唔可能再容許我哋有自己嘅思想同感受。塗鴉一個圖案可以係破壞政府管治基礎嘅底線，如此荒謬嘅話仲係出自一區首長之口，譴責圖案受破壞，比危殆嘅人命還緊要，我就明白到，無人性嘅極權眼中又點會睇到平民百姓人命價值嘅可貴？呢個邪惡嘅政治制度不過係想透過「收買人命」嘅恐慌嚟製造威權管治嘅理由，逼使人民放棄思想同抗爭，做個順民去拜服極權，等佢哋以為自己可以千秋萬世。

I will not say that the attack is not important, or lighten it up or paper over the cracks. Anyone have conscious will definitely be heartbroken and ambushed about the attack at the West Rail. But the truth is that, our outrageous has nowhere to escape. Our society system is corrupting, the totalitarianism is raging brutally to a point where no one is allowed to have their own thinking and feeling. When a simple graffiti is an act to test the bottom line of the government's governance, when the Chief Executive ridiculously condemns the destruction of a symbolic device more than the vicious attack to innocent citizen, I know that our lives have absolutely no values to these senior officials. This evil political system is taking lives, creating the chaos and the reason for their stuck-up governance, forcing the people to give up fighting, while eventually the people will worship them as gods with their kingdom lasts forever.

但係，在荒謬絕倫、置身喺邪惡陰謀嘅被襲經驗之中，我感受到身邊仍然有可愛嘅人，無論係素未謀面嘅乘客、救護員、定係我嘅朋友同家人，係佢地嘅愛同關心，使我能夠克服果種面對荒謬時嘅無助感，令我能夠有信心繼續行落去，有勇氣去面對果份無可躲避嘅恐懼，有盼望去戰勝果啲因擔心無差別隨機攻擊而帶嚟嘅心理壓力。

However, in this ridiculous attack experience under the evil conspiracy, there are lovely people around me: passengers , Ambulancemen, friends and family, for their loves and comforts give me the strength to overcome the helpless feeling throughout this absurd situation, the faith to move on, the courage to face the inevitable fear, and the hope to concur the in-depth pressure caused by the desperation of the indiscriminate attack.

昨日的我，經歷了被襲擊，令我完美的一天不再完美，但我卻在遭害和恐懼當中發現了愛和勇氣，是香港人守望的愛。

I was attacked yesterday, and it made my perfect day imperfect. But I found love and courage in the time of danger and fear. Hong Kong people do watch over for each other.

是的，香港人很有愛，所以我們值得擁有比現在更好的社會領袖和政治制度，We deserve better。因為你們有愛，所以我能夠不再怕遭害。因為你們有愛，所以我能夠堅持這個心願。因為你們有愛，所以我有信心香港人能夠一齊撐落去。

HongKongers are so full of love, that is why we deserve better society leaders and political system. We DO deserve better. Because of your love, I do not fear the danger. Because of your love, I can hold tight to hope. Because of your love, I have faith that HongKongers can stick together and make our own future.

香港人，加油💪🏻！
HongKongers, ADD OIL!