關於 either or題目 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

【山東「合村併居」的惡夢】

跟同事一起追了幾個禮拜的題目，講的是正發生在中國農村的故事。在大國間戰鼓雷鳴的當下，希望這些聲音的可以被聽見與紀錄。

👂🏻歡迎收聽～三集廣播 / Podcast報導《山東「合村併居」的惡夢》：

🔹上集：從拆遷戶變成「通緝犯」
https://pse.is/TFA68

🔹中集：誰的蠢事？-- 政府賣地賺錢
https://pse.is/SR5YA

🔹下集：中國農民的土地之悲
https://pse.is/UE8JM

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▪️ ＃合村併居

▫️背景：在習近平領導的中國十九大工作重點「鄉村振興戰略」下，山東省擬定了充滿野心的規劃：今年底要拆遷掉全省20%、14000多個村子，關係到上百萬的農民。

▫️方式：「合村併居」，就是拆農民房子，合併村莊，把農民集中起來搬到「趕上樓」（到樓房裡住）。

▫️目的：本意是要解決中國空心村（居民少、佔地大）造成的村落運轉成本高、土地浪費嚴重、社會照顧難等問題。但山東省這次出了一個引發爭議的新招：先拆後建。

農民的家被拆光了，安置房還沒蓋好，至少數萬農民就在今年初疫情最嚴重的時候無家可歸，被迫投靠親友、或自己搭窩蓬居住。

類似的情況在山東臨沂、荷澤、濱州、德州、青島、日照、東營、聊城市都有發生。


▪️ ＃手段

// 簽署拆遷協定的前三人有5000到10000人民幣不等的獎金，還承諾有優先選則安置房的權力。對簽署拆遷協定有質疑的人家，很多則會突然遇到各種「狀況」。

👨🏻‍🌾「有的孩子在鎮上上學，學校校長、老師就說孩子學籍有問題，不簽就不讓孩子上學；斷水斷電斷路；農用拖拉機沒有牌照的，縣交管部門就扣車抓人。」村民小金細數著各種脅迫村民簽署搬遷協定的手法。

「村裡開超市的，把你門關掉；開餐館的，也關掉，不讓你營業。養豬的，縣政府環保部門過來，說你污染環境，把豬圈拆了。」//


//這是深更半夜有人在李家附近放爆竹。小李說：

🧑🏼‍🌾「白天一波一波的人來好言相勸；晚上黑惡勢力就來恐嚇威脅，斷電、砸牆、放煙花爆竹、辱罵。這種情況越來越嚴重。 他們還在我們家旁邊蓋了一個簡易房，裡面裝好了空調，白天在那裡看著我的家人，晚上十點左右，不知道什麼人就會開始向我家丟石頭。」

於是，打造「齊魯樣板」、精准「脫貧攻堅」、推動「鄉村振興」——這些官方文件中反復重復的宣傳文字，落到李家頭上，是石塊與爆竹。

小李多次打電話報警，還蒐集證據試圖上訪。

「我覺得很無辜，我們是受害者。從我出生到現在，沒有撥打過這麼多次110，每一次都有理、有據、有事實，每一次都是沒有處理結果、連立案的過程都沒走啊⋯⋯。」//


▪️ ＃賣地賺錢

▫️地方政府為什麼要這樣搞？

1. 怕農民不搬：以前的經驗，樓房蓋好、農民拒搬、樓房賣不出去、建商跟地方政府一起被拖垮。

2. 賣地賺錢：中國地方政府長期仰賴土地財政。簡單來說，賣地賺錢、大拆大建，是度過經濟成長萎縮、國內外局勢險峻的手段。

▫️賣地賺錢的兩種途徑：

一是複墾為耕地，國家財政給予每畝20-40萬元的補貼。

二是利用「增減掛勾政策」，把農民「上樓」後騰出的土地，利用「城鄉建設用地增減掛鉤」機制，把耕地換成「城市建設用地指標」，再把「指標」交易出去，出讓價格可能在每畝50萬以上，甚至更高。

新聞裡，我們採訪的農民開出的農耕用地收購價是一畝5.1萬。轉手之間，對地方政府確實是一筆可觀的收入。


▪️ ＃中國不能討論的事：組織&土地私有化

確實有農民開心的「上樓」去，但不願遷移的農民成了任由宰割的群體。這些中國底層農民無力自濟的根本兩個根本原因：沒組織、沒產權。

農業組織早在市場化之後逐漸消失，以現在的政治環境更不可能；至於產權，在近幾年連學術討論的空間都大大萎縮了。（aka 大多學者也不敢講話、倡議以土地私有化讓中國城鎮化自然發生）

//美國三一學院經濟系終身教授文貫中說，

「在一個真正市場化經濟國家裡面，這個（城鎮化）問題是不需要政府去操縱的，也不需要像強盜一樣趕農民，因為既然進城就有動力，（農民就會）把房子土地賣掉。而在沒有土地、市場配置的情況下，政府來強制性配置。搞來搞去就會出事。」

在2013年的中共十八大三中全會 上，「完善產權制度和要素市場化」被提上議程。文貫中解釋說，那一度讓外界看見中國土地產權改革的希望。

「所謂要素市場化，也就是指資本、土地、勞動力三大要素，表示土地也可以討論。但在這之後，黨總書記習近平莫名其妙、以個人身分把決議推翻。」

怎麼推翻的呢？習近平公開強調，改革的底線是：農村土地集體所有，#不能動。

「如果你還跑出來討論土地私有，就是跟總書記對著幹。現在總書記的權力是淩駕於全黨之上，你要冒生命危險了，沒有這樣的人了。」文貫中說。

北京清華大學社會系教授郭于華直言，當前政策辯論在拆遷手法、基層工作、地方財政等議題上「繞圈子」。

「你再溫和地（拆遷），最後不還是（把農民土地）拿走。」//


▪️#後記：

▫️1. 時代的眼淚

做這個題目的時候，翻出這篇2012年在財新做的稿子，那時候我原本標題下「台灣如何"強拆"」，被編輯改為《台灣如何拆遷》（https://pse.is/TAQ7W）。做完中國的拆遷故事，再回去讀當時臺灣的稿子，有更深刻的明白。

Me：什麼？怎麼可以威脅小孩的上學權呢？
老同事：死人了沒有？

▫️2. 習粉

中國14億人中，有四成以上是農民人口。

這次採訪接觸了好幾個農民家庭，其中幾個一開始我還傻傻的傳了一堆問題跟資料。幾天都沒得到回應，才知道原來是大多不識字。

最後用語音聊了一陣子，聽他們講述自己的遭遇，然後聊天之間，他們會傳很多央視的快手影片給我，主角多是習近平或李克強，內容是幫助農民、整治貪污、嚴懲強拆那些話。

「我們國家的政策多好，領導是要照顧我們的。......都是被地方貪官給貪了！」

這些類似的話一直反覆地聽到。

其中一個農民，我都稱她小蘭姐，50出頭、四個孩子都在外地打工。每次聊她都會聊到哭，一直跟我說什麼都沒了，不如死了算了。

我問她，現在想要什麼呢？

她說，她就要原來的家、原來的農地、原來自己的床。

「妳一定要幫幫忙，讓上面的領導來我們這裡調查、主持公道！」

—


👂🏻歡迎收聽～

三集《山東「合村併居」的惡夢》：

🔹上集：從拆遷戶變成「通緝犯」 https://pse.is/TFA68
🔹中集：誰的蠢事？-- 政府賣地賺錢 https://pse.is/SR5YA
🔹下集：中國農民的土地之悲 https://pse.is/UE8JM

—

Latest:

I made 3 episodes of podcasts documenting the voices of Shangdong Peasants families:《The Nightmare of Shandong’s "village mergers"》

These Chinese farmers speak up with desperation on their real struggles, providing us a rare opportunity to hear their voices.

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According to official documents, the province's "rural revitalization" strategy (鄉村振興戰略) involves relocating and merging 20% of its close to 70,000 villages by 2020. The policy has a name: “village mergers” (合村並點、or 合村並居 hécūn bìngjū).

With this aggressive goal, the local government of Shangdong has been razing villages at an unprecedented speed. Nearly a dozen villagers told #RFA that the local government uses "all sorts of tools" to force them to sign agreements to move, and were promised new houses that are still in construction or have not even been built.

These "tools" include pressuring families about their children’s educations, seizing tractors, cutting of electricity, digging huge holes in front of the families’ properties, throwing rocks at their houses, or lighting up fireworks in the middle of the night.

In one case, the local police registered a farmer, Li, as a “wanted criminal" for taking a mining job more than two decades before. Li was suddenly arrested at a train station this month while trying to buy a ticket with his ID card.

“Raze first, build later”(先拆後建) became a new norm of this mass-demolition campaign in Shandong, leaving thousands of rural residents with few options. With their houses now gone, most of the farmers we talked to had erected tents along their old fields. Some were staying with family and friends.

The local government promised a 1500 yuan ($213) per month ‘transition fee’.　At least six families told us they have yet received anything.

--

The local official I spoke to denied all the accusations. "There has been no forced relocation. All money has been sent to the families.”

An official response document from the government to villagers also showed ‘No Forced Relocation’.

One farmer told me he felt ‘helpless’. “The police are not documenting the case, the government has denied all the behaviors relating to forced relocations, and the court is not taking our case either.”

--

Have a listen:

《The Nightmare of Shandong’s "village mergers"》
￭ 1： From peasant to "wanted criminals" https://pse.is/TFA68
￭ 2： Who’s stupid move? Making money from the land https://pse.is/SR5YA
￭ 3： The tragic land of Chinese farmers https://pse.is/UE8JM

🇩🇰 這是一篇深度報導，來自歐洲現存最古老的報紙：丹麥Weekendavisen，題目是從香港抗爭運動、香港聯繫加泰羅尼亞的集會，前瞻全球大城市的「永久革命」。一篇報導訪問了世界各地大量學者，我也在其中，雖然只是每人一句，加在一起，卻有了很完整的圖像。

以下為英譯：

Protest! The demonstrations in Hong Kong were just the beginning. Now there are unrest in big cities from Baghdad to Barcelona. Perhaps the stage is set for something that could look like a permanent revolution in the world's big cities.

A world on the barricades

At the end of October, an hour after dark, a group of young protesters gathered at the Chater Garden Park in Hong Kong. Some of them wore large red and yellow flags. The talk began and the applause filled the warm evening air. There were slogans of independence, and demands of self-determination - from Spain. For the protest was in sympathy with the Catalan independence movement.

At the same time, a group of Catalan protesters staged a protest in front of the Chinese Consulate in Barcelona in favor of Hong Kong's hope for more democracy. The message was not to be mistaken: We are in the same boat. Or, as Joshua Wong, one of the leading members of the Hong Kong protest movement, told the Catalan news agency: "The people of Hong Kong and Catalonia both deserve the right to decide their own destiny."

For much of 2019, Hong Kong's streets have been ravaged by fierce protests and a growing desperation on both sides, with escalating violence and vandalism ensuing. But what, do observers ask, if Hong Kong is not just a Chinese crisis, but a warning of anger that is about to break out globally?

Each week brings new turmoil from an unexpected edge. In recent days, attention has focused on Chile. Here, more than 20 people have lost their lives in unrest, which has mainly been about unequal distribution of economic goods. Before then, the unrest has hit places as diverse as Lebanon and the Czech Republic, Bolivia and Algeria, Russia and Sudan.

With such a geographical spread, it is difficult to bring the protests to any sort of common denominator, but they all reflect a form of powerlessness so acute that traditional ways of speaking do not seem adequate.

Hardy Merriman, head of research at the International Center for Nonviolent Conflict in Washington, is not in doubt that it is a real wave of protest and that we have not seen the ending yet.

"I have been researching non-violent resistance for 17 years, and to me it is obvious that there are far more popular protest movements now than before. Often the protests have roots in the way political systems work. Elsewhere, it is about welfare and economic inequality or both. The two sets of factors are often related, ”he says.

Economic powerlessness

Hong Kong is a good example of this. The desire among the majority of Hong Kong's seven million residents to maintain an independent political identity vis-à-vis the People's Republic of China is well known, but the resentment of the streets is also fueled by a sense of economic powerlessness. Hong Kong is one of the most unequal communities in the world, and especially the uneven access to the real estate market is causing a stir.

According to Lee Chun-wing, a sociologist at Hong Kong Polytechnic University, the turmoil in the city is not just facing Beijing, but also expressing a daunting showdown with the neoliberal economy, which should diminish the state's role and give the market more influence, but in its real form often ends with the brutal arbitrariness of jungle law.

'The many protests show that neoliberalism is unable to instill hope in many. And as one of the world's most neoliberal cities, Hong Kong is no exception. While the protests here are, of course, primarily political, there is no doubt that social polarization and economic inequality make many young people not afraid to participate in more radical protests and do not care whether they are accused of damage economic growth, 'he says.

The turmoil is now so extensive that it can no longer be dismissed as a coincidence. Something special and significant is happening. As UN Secretary General António Guterres put it last week, it would be wrong to stare blindly at the superficial differences between the factors that get people on the streets.
“There are also common features that are recurring across the continents and should force us to reflect and respond. It is clear that there is growing distrust between the people and the political elites and growing threats to the social contract. The world is struggling with the negative consequences of globalization and the new technologies that have led to growing inequality in individual societies, "he told reporters in New York.

Triggered by trifles

In many cases, the riots have been triggered by questions that may appear almost trivial on the surface. In Chile, there was an increase in the price of the capital's subway equivalent to 30 Danish cents, while in Lebanon there were reports of a tax on certain services on the Internet. In both places, it was just the reason why the people have been able to express a far more fundamental dissatisfaction.

In a broad sense, there are two situations where a population is rebelling, says Paul Almeida, who teaches sociology at the University of California, Merced. The first is when more opportunities suddenly open up and conditions get better. People are getting hungry for more and trying to pressure their politicians to give even more concessions.

“But then there is also the mobilization that takes place when people get worse. That seems to be the overall theme of the current protests, even in Hong Kong. People are concerned about various kinds of threats they face. It may be the threat of inferior economic conditions, or it may be a more political threat of erosion of rights. But the question is why it is happening right now. That's the 10,000-kroner issue, ”says Almeida.

Almeida, who has just published the book Social Movements: The Structure of Social Mobilization, even gives a possible answer. A growing authoritarian, anti-democratic flow has spread across the continents and united rulers in all countries, and among others it is the one that has now triggered a reaction in the peoples.

“There is a tendency for more use of force by the state power. If we look at the death toll in Latin America, they are high considering that the countries are democracies. This kind of violence is not usually expected in democratic regimes in connection with protests. It is an interesting trend and may be related to the authoritarian flow that is underway worldwide. It's worth watching, 'he says.

The authoritarian wave

Politologists Anna Lürhmann and Staffan Lindberg from the University of Gothenburg describe in a paper published earlier this year a "third autocratic wave." Unlike previous waves, for example, in the years before World War II, when democracy was beaten under great external drama , the new wave is characterized by creeping. It happens little by little - in countries like Turkey, Nicaragua, Venezuela, Hungary and Russia - at such a slow pace that you barely notice it.

Even old-fashioned autocrats nowadays understand the language of democracy - the only acceptable lingua franca in politics - and so the popular reaction does not happen very often when it becomes clear at once that the electoral process itself is not sufficient to secure democratic conditions. Against this backdrop, Kenneth Chan, a politician at Hong Kong Baptist University, sees the recent worldwide wave of unrest as an expression of the legitimacy crisis of the democratic regimes.

“People have become more likely to take the initiative and take part in direct actions because they feel that they have not made the changes they had hoped for through the elections. In fact, the leaders elected by the peoples are perceived as undermining the institutional guarantees of citizens' security, freedom, welfare and rights. As a result, over the past decade, we have seen more democracies reduced to semi-democracies, hybrid regimes and authoritarian regimes, ”he says.

"Therefore, we should also not be surprised by the new wave of resistance from the people. On the surface, the spark may be a relatively innocent or inconsiderate decision by the leadership, but people's anger quickly turns to what they see as the cause of the democratic deroute, that is, an arrogant and selfish leadership, a weakened democratic control, a dysfunctional civil society. who are no longer able to speak on behalf of the people. ”The world is changing. Anthony Ince, a cardiff at Cardiff University who has researched urban urban unrest, sees the uprisings as the culmination of long-term nagging discontent and an almost revolutionary situation where new can arise.

"The wider context is that the dominant world order - the global neoliberalism that has dominated since the 1980s - is under pressure from a number of sides, creating both uncertainty and at the same time the possibility of change. People may feel that we are in a period of uncertainty, confusion, anxiety, but perhaps also hope, ”he says.
Learning from each other.

Apart from mutual assurances of solidarity the protest movements in between, there does not appear to be any kind of coordination. But it may not be necessary either. In a time of social media, learning from each other's practices is easy, says Simon Shen, a University of Hong Kong political scientist.

“They learn from each other at the tactical level. Protesters in Hong Kong have seen what happened in Ukraine through YouTube, and now protesters in Catalonia and Lebanon are taking lessons from Hong Kong. It's reminiscent of 1968, when baby boomers around the globe were inspired by an alternative ideology to break down rigid hierarchies, 'he says.
But just as the protest movements can learn from each other, the same goes for their opponents. According to Harvard political scientist Erica Chenoweth, Russia has been particularly active in trying to establish cooperation with other authoritarian regimes, which feel threatened by riots in the style of the "color revolutions" on the periphery of the old Soviet empire at the turn of the century.

"It has resulted in joint efforts between Russian, Chinese, Iranian, Venezuelan, Belarusian, Syrian and other national authorities to develop, systematize and report on techniques and practices that have proved useful in trying to contain such threats," writes Chenoweth in an article in the journal Global Responsibility to Protect.

Max Fisher and Amanda Taub, commentators at the New York Times, point to the social media as a double-edged sword. Not only are Twitter and Facebook powerful weapons in the hands of tech-savvy autocrats. They are also of questionable value to the protesting grass roots. With WhatsApp and other new technologies, it is possible to mobilize large numbers of interested and almost-interested participants in collective action. But they quickly fall apart again.

The volatile affiliation is one of the reasons why, according to a recent survey, politically motivated protests today only succeed in reaching their targets in 30 percent of cases. A generation ago, the success rate was 70 percent. Therefore, unrest often recurs every few years, and they last longer, as Hong Kong is an example of. Perhaps the scene is set for something that might resemble a permanent revolution in the world's big cities - a kind of background noise that other residents will eventually just get used to.

"Since there is still no obvious alternative to neoliberalism, the polarization that led to the protests initially will probably continue to apply," says Lee of Hong Kong Polytechnic University. "At the same time, this means that the anger and frustration will continue to rumble in society."

交往時沒想到會和女朋友聊了這些話題，結婚時沒想到會和老婆一起把它寫成文章，出書時沒想到會將這個故事收入到我的自傳，總之，感情故事也是「失控」的一部分。

購買作者親簽書「失控，是最好的安排」： https://step30.org/single_product.php?id=19

註：所有版稅將全數捐贈非洲偏鄉建設

婚前討論題目

想象兩個陌生人在某處遇見，幾通電話和晚餐後，他們現在成了男女朋友。

他們喜歡在電話中聊天、看電影、逛街、親嘴和觸摸；兩人都非常享受和對方相處的時間。

不知不覺的過了幾年後；雙方也都差不多到達適婚年齡了，所以自然的他們轉向男友/女友，才驚覺他/她根本就不適合成為自己未來另一半的角色。

這時他們才發現自己卡在一段感情裡，不能前進踏入婚姻；因為他們對人生的期許非常不同，但卻也不能分手；因為雙方交往太久，兩人都太習慣了。

這種案例其實很常發生，在和我分享兩性關係的人當中，我已經一次又一次的在不同的人身上聽見相同的故事。

所以說與其等到要結婚時才想到婚前討論題目，我通常都鼓勵大家在交往的最前期(某些甚至交往前)就一起討論。因為交往中的親密接觸有時候會影響當事人看不見長遠的道路，所以如果雙方能在花上時間和精力前就事先討論這些主題，相信這對所有人都有幫助。

……………………………………………………………………………..

這裡有一些我想出來的婚前討論主題和題目，希望這些問題能啟發大家思考出更多更適合自己的討論內容。

雙方期待：會對兩性關係感到失望的最大原因之一就是雙方都帶著錯誤的期待。
1. 這段感情的目的是什麼？
2. 你覺得一個丈夫/妻子的角色是什麼？
3. 你想象中的完美婚姻看起來應該是怎樣？
4. 我們兩個的感情有可能會遇到哪些挑戰？

人生目標： 想象有一個人的目標是努力工作建立起價值千萬的事業和生活水平，而另一個人則是想要成為海外宣教士，奉獻出所有的金錢和時間生活在非洲國家。這兩個人的目標都非常好，但這是兩個完全不同方向的目標。
1. 你覺得你10年後會是什麼樣子？
2. 你的短期/長期目標是什麼？(個人、經濟、家庭、身體、精神、生活水準)
3. 你的伴侶在你的這些目標中扮演的是什麼角色？
4. 在什麼情況下你會改變你的目標？

信仰理念：對於某些人而言，他們的政治/宗教理念在生活中可能是非常重要的一部分。
1. 你的政治/宗教理念對你而言有多重要？
2. 你需要你的伴侶在你的理念中參與多少？
3. 你是否會將你的理念(儀式)傳遞給你的孩子？
4. 你的原生家庭有哪些政治/宗教理念?

生活習慣： 當一對情侶住在兩個不同地方時，這可能不是什麼大問題，但結婚後，你們大部分的時間都會跟對方在一起，而這些小小的生活習慣就可能會堆積成為大事情。
1. 你理想中最好的時光是該怎麼度過？
2. 你有沒有什麼隱藏的習慣是我不知道的？(要誠實)
3. 你覺得一個家庭中的責任大家該怎麼分擔？
4. 討論一下互相對煙酒、毒品、藥物癮或疾病的看法。

經濟觀念：這是一個夫妻最容易爭論的話題，與其遇到時再討論，不如事先理解雙方對金錢的看法。
1. 你的錢大部分都花在哪裡？
2. 我們將來的收入來源會是什麼？
3. 你的經濟目標是什麼？
4. 我的錢是你的嗎？你的錢是我的嗎？(婚姻關係)

養兒育女： 年輕的情侶要想這個話題可能會覺得有點遠，但相信我，這些題目在孩子出生後會更難想清楚。
1. 你想要在幾歲的時候生孩子？要生幾個？
2. 你想要教給兒女最重要的價值觀是什麼？
3. 你會怎麼教養你的兒女？
4. 夫妻是不是有一方需要待在家中照顧兒女？

原生家庭：當你嫁娶某一個人後，他/她的家人也會成為你的家人。
1. 你的父母在我們的關係中會扮演什麼角色？
2. 你喜歡/不喜歡成長中父母教養你的哪個方式？有沒有成長的陰影？
3. 你的家人是否保有某些我們一定要遵守的習俗？
4. 你的原生家庭中有沒有可能影響我們的遺傳疾病或紛爭問題？

Pre-marriage questions

Imagine two total strangers meet somewhere. A couple phone calls and dinners later, they are now seeing each other.

They like to talk on the phone, go to movies, shopping, kissing and touching; they enjoy hanging out with each other.

Years go by; and now they are at that age where everyone is getting married. So they turn around to look at their boyfriend/girlfriend only to realize that he/she is not suitable to play the role of their future spouse.

That's when they find themselves stuck in a relationship where they can't move forward and get married; because they have very different expectations of life. But they can't break up either; because they have been together for so long.

Stories like this actually happen a lot, I’ve heard it over and over again from the people who come to me about their relationship.

Therefore, instead of waiting until the time of marriage, I usually encourage people to go through pre-marriage questions at the very beginning of their relationship(some even before dating). Because the intimate acts from a relationship can sometimes paralyze people’s ability to see the bigger picture. So it’s a good idea to think about these questions before you spend years of your life with someone.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Here are some pre-marriage topics and questions I put together. Hope this can inspire you to come up with more questions of your own.

Expectation: One of the biggest reasons for disappointment of relationship is because people get into it with the wrong expectations.
1. What is the purpose of this relationship?
2. What is the role of a husband/wife?
3. What does your ideal marriage look like?
4. What are some challenges we might face in this relationship?

Life goal: Imagine one person wants to work hard and build a million dollar business and lifestyle, and the other person wants to donate most of the money and time as a missionary in Africa. Neither of them are wrong, they are just two people with very different life goals.
1. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
2. What are your short-term and long-term goals? (personal, financial, family, physical, spiritual, lifestyle)
3. How do you see your spouse in relation to your goals?
4. Under what circumstances will you change your goals?

Belief: It can be political or religious, and depending on the person sometimes it can be a very influential part of their life.
1. How important is your political/religious belief to you?
2. What kind of participation do you expect from your spouse?
3. Would you want to pass on your belief(practices) unto your children?
4. What kind of political/religious belief does your family have?

Lifestyle: When you live in two different places, this might not be an issue. But the reality is when you get married, you will spend most of your time with him/her, and those little habits of life can add up to something big.
1. What is your idea of a good time?
2. Is there any hidden habits I don’t know about you?(be honest)
3. How do you think the household responsibilities should be divided?
4. Let’s talk about alcohol, smoke, drug or addictions/disorders.

Finance: This is one of the biggest subjects couples argue about. It’s better to talk about it before you run into it.
1. What do you spend most of your money on?
2. What are will be our sources of income?
3. What is your financial goal?
4. Is my money yours? And yours mine?(in marriage)

Children: This may seem a little too far to think about for the younger couples. But trust me, once the kids come along, these questions will be even harder to think about.
1. At what age do you plan on having kids? And how many?
2. What’s the most important value to teach your children?
3. How would you discipline your children?
4. Should one of us stay home and take care of the children?

Family: Once you married someone, his/her family will become yours too.
1. What is the role of your parents in our relationship?
2. What are things you like/dislike the way your parents raised you? Any scar from the past?
3. Are there any family customs of yours we have to keep?
4. Are there any family diseases/issues that can come into our relationship?

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訂閱: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKC6E5s6CMT5sVBInKBbPDQ?sub_confirmation=1

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/2LjUOH9T9j21GiX8jzytu6
異度空間恐怖APP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PiyPZ3d_Fw&t=12s

首支單曲: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UASHWB6Ai9Y

鬼故事: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CfqxuCHq3Y&t=3s

我的成長故事: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdhtp6A6YJE

我講 '香港' 10,000次: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G4uDe3QUfs

我受夠了, 我的精神困擾: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ6uxaQhiS4&t=7s

24小時內學印度話: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3EmtyVK1BQ&t=55s

最後發現我有1種強迫症!
發現我有1種強迫症!
發現我有身體聚焦強迫症!
發現我有一種強迫症!
我有身體聚焦重複行為障礙 (強迫症的一種)-精神問題
發現我有身體聚焦強迫症!
最近看杜汶凙喱騷講強迫症的題目令我想到今年加拿大疫情最差時自己也表示有強迫症的症狀: 咬手指. (Show clip)片中他提及的數格子等的強迫症行為其實我小時候每隔地上走過兩步格子會喜歡跪一次在地上. 睡覺前數自己眨多少次眼, 不能有6或者6有關或pooy數. 例如: 6,12, 16, 18也不行. 因為6是魔鬼的號碼. 如果眨了6次眼要馬上眨到7,8, 或9. 或when I use to sit in the car I needed to use both sides of my hand to touch the car window. 4 times with both hands. I don’t even know why.
長大後我慢慢tou ley這些重複性的精神狀態. 這些年唯一陪伴我的是咬手指.
今天的身分拍這條影片不是而暗網仔的身分去拍, 而是為我自己找出答案. 因為彈琴或任何要show手指的行為有時都會有goo leuy. 因為不漂亮.
I know theirs a billion people will worst tragic fates than me and this is such a stupid small problem but this channel is for me to express my self.

這幾天找到原來這類型的強迫症學名叫 ‘身體聚焦重複行為障礙’ 是你重複obsessively對自己肉身做成的創傷. 這個koy kuet名詞令我發現自己某一些其他我曾經以為正常的行為也其實是強迫症. 當然咬手指是我最明顯的symptom. But like biting my lips, bitinh the inside of my mouth (like this) biting other parts of my hand, picking my bitten fingernails. Scratching my eyes inner part, before my elbows I constantly scratched for no reason. It’s almost like self harm.
I used to think everyone did this at least bit their lips.

Now the reasons for this some believe is anxiety. But honestly I bite my hands when I’m either bored or thinking. I think it’s a mixture because when I upload a video and I’m writing the tags and all that I’m both thinking but also anxious because I’m nervous about the video performance. So I think for me it’s both those things.

Now a cause of 身體聚焦重複行為障礙或BFRB有一些人説有自己問題外還有遺傳成分. 因為我也真的見過長booy有scratch themselves的習慣.

My solution: after watching this video they told me that the solution is not to stop yourself from the impulse of doing these things before that’ll only make you want to do it more. Actually it is to be conscious in that moment that you want to do this and do another action as a replacement. So what I did is I pretend I’m playing the piano every time I get this self harm impulse. Strange it when I do this my mouth still moves and if I were biting my nails or my lips and yesterday I caught myself constantly want to bite.
But over time it has gotten easier. And I think with enough effort I can stop this. Because honestly my nails are traumatized beyond belief and it’s been so long time I’ve had to cut nails because they don’t grow and is so weak. When I scratch an itch it feels weak. Like it’s gotta fall off. And it’s just...I don’t want that you know so let’s try to change it.

Thanks for letting me make this weird video bye.