【加減乘除的人生】
I have been very broke and very broken before.
(60 cents in bank, hello!)
In those dreadful days of brokenness, I spent countless long nights binge watching Youtube and blog surfing. From midnight all the way to dawn.
I lamented at how many other people are more successful, eloquent, smarter and better-looking than me.
Influencers, bloggers, content creators, Youtubers...
The more I watched and read, the more broken and stupid I felt.
My failed businesses have knocked the wind out of me and I lost the confidence to be a Feng Shui practitioner, despite Shifu and my husband egging me on.
I assumed I would suck at it, just like how I failed at everything else.
I hid for a very long long time in my eggshell, refusing to tell people that I know Metaphysics or the Dharma to help them with their life problems.
I can't even help myself. How am I qualified to help them?
Fast forward 5 years later, I am blessed with a growing audience through my writing and FB Livestreams.
That I am able to monetise what I have been learning for the past 11 years and changing people's lives, one Bazi at a time.
What's more astonishing was I self-taught myself into doing up videos on the topics that matter most to my heart.
Watching YouTube make my dreams come true. #yesmumthatstrue
You may have read that I produced a Vesak Day video, a Mothers' Day video, a Summer Health Guide and a Father's Day video for Shifu in the last 2 months. Their combined total views are over 3000.
It felt bittersweet to hear from my husband he liked my videos.
You see, years ago, when I was crippled by my business, I asked the Husband if his company needed a marketing person for their social media.
I thought they could do better in their FB marketing and gave him a lot of ideas.
The husband brushed me off, saying that his boss was unlikely to have the budget to take me in. I tried bargaining for just $200/mth for trial. But was turned down flat. #stingy
I was forced to come out and do something on my own. #女人當自強
Life feels like a Ferris wheel of deja vu sometimes.
2001. My first attempt in doing videos started in NUS Buddhist Society. I was sought to be the Vice-Chairperson in the Freshmen Orientation Camp committee. At that time, my mum bought a Sony camcorder and somehow we came up with the idea of doing a video, introducing Buddhism to the freshies, modelled after the 城人雜誌 variety show.
We went to a few temples in Singapore, of Tibetan, Mahayana and Theravada linages, showcasing the difference in various styles of prostration and offerings. My Chairman Vincent Kwan and another Comm. member starred in the video, while I did the voiceover and shooting.
I had to beg my Bizad friend who was a whiz in IT stuff, to help me edit. I parked like an owl at his home for several nights till after midnight.
Despite all the efforts we put in, the video wasn't well-received by the freshies. They felt Buddhism is one complicated maze after watching it. But the seniors liked it.
I learnt the importance of understanding my target market and perceived customisation.
Not that I understood that better when I did businesses.
I only got it after I became a Feng Shui practitioner and marketing online for a year through more trial and error.
Before the few videos I did this year, I had produced videos for Shifu a few years back. They received generally good response on his budding FB page. Despite being very low key, he has major underground Peach Blossom Luck and much goodwill among his clientele after all.
But nothing like these recent videos that get shared 11-13 times, with reach over 500-600% of the page's fan base.
I don't know what clicked inside me this year, to be able to produce videos that people like.
To be able to do FB Lives that get shared, reacted and commented, and be told that I'm natural on screen, when I used to have onscreen fright.
Feels like Disney magic at work, doesn't it? (Okay, I admit I used Feng Shui.)
I look back and discover life is a game of arithmetic.
My story-telling competitions in primary school.
A librarian in secondary school.
My leadership roles in JC and NUS.
My key role in project presentations in Uni.
Door-to-door and telephone surveys.
A barista in Coffee Bean.
Modelling for Carrie's.
A banquet waitress at Royal Scotts (where the fish head flew onto the table, sauce and fish eyeballs and all, as I was cutting up the fish)
Tutoring children.
Meeting tens of thousands of passengers in SQ.
Being the merchandiser, photographer and graphics designer for my failed blogshop business.
Tagging along the generous and strict Shifu, who taught me for free all these 11 years.
Knowing Sam Choo and Tavia Wong, in 2015 July, opened up my eyes to the IM world and learnt branding + FB marketing knowledge that my NUS professors miss out.
The rejections, the failures...
Take out any one of these, and I would lose that courage, gungho-ness, eloquence, marketability and skilfulness in handling people and trying new things, that you see now.
I sometimes see clients who lament about their less-than-desirable family backgrounds.
Or their companies who do not give them the pay and environment they crave.
Or their partners who always hold them back.
They tell me their dreams and ask me what they can do.
I would eagerly tell them their favourable elements and industries to work in.
Over time, I observed clients can know how to use their favourable elements, and yet have massively different results.
The difference lies not just in their attitude towards life, but what skills they have amassed over the years.
People have dreams, but few make serious effort to gain a skill that will push them an inch closer to their aspirations.
Or they get so caught up in life's dramas that they forgot they can.
I have seen too many clients resigned to tough life. Especially those with children.
It's like they have bid farewell to Life, before they even get near the coffin. #趕去投胎嗎
My Bazi indicated that I would be doing what I studied as a career.
I was telling Shifu, strange that I wasn't.
He told me, I was. With all the heavy duty articles I post on FB, the copywriting I learnt, landing pages, 50 over FB Livestreams, 11 workshops, I am marketing Chinese Metaphysics and Dharma.
Derrick, my web designer, remarked that he had never seen a geomancer who does marketing online the way I did. Very different from what he had seen.
I realised they are right. I am very marketing-slanted in the way I do things. NUS Bizad will be so proud of this alumni.
On my down days, I would think it is too late for me to be doing all these when I'm hitting 40.
On my up days like today, I would think if not now, when?
The more you practice, the more polished you get at doing something.
You have seen me at my most amateurish on FB, writing and doing Livestreams.
I hope it had inspired you in one way or another. If not for the better, at least don't make the same mistakes I did. Make better ones. 😄
If you wish to join me on my journey, as I take my baby step into Youtube, you can subscribe to me at:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCweF0iGnkE2kxMlMDcDvnqA
There is only one video uploaded so far. No channel art. No fancy words. No custom URL as I would need 100 subs before I qualify.
That 4-minute video was my very first video on Chinese Metaphysics and got me over 1459 views on Facebook, since 2016 June.
I only have 350+ friends now. Does that mean each of you watch it thrice? 😍
I will gradually edit my FB videos, throw in the subtitles, and upload them on Youtube. It won't be monetised so that next time, you can binge watch my videos with no interruption.
While I have a couple of videos in the pipeline, I do not have concrete plans what I wish to do for my Youtube channel.
But life is a game of arithmetic. As long as I am moving in my favourable direction, I am going to grow into a health stocky broccoli. Non-GMO.
Stay with me, my friend. Let's see how high we can soar together.
My barebone channel -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCweF0iGnkE2kxMlMDcDvnqA
.........
Fun fact: I'm still using a Sony camera for my videos.
📸: The man who didn't want to employ me
