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以下有前五季冠軍的名字
網路上看到的一篇文章
有點打碎我對naima一相情願的好感
不過看看也不錯啦
這篇作者不一定說的都是對的
他甚至大部分都說不好的那面
大家就看看笑笑吧
March 08, 2006
Don Baiocchi
Yes, folks, it's that time of year again. The time when short, thin girls get
to pretend they're tall, skinny "models in training." The time when Tyra Banks
decides to suck up yet another hour of television. The time when I make fun of
her UPN reality show while also unable to turn away whenever it's on.
沒錯，又到了每年那些又矮又瘦的女孩，開始裝扮成接受專業模特兒訓練的高挑超瘦模特
兒的時節。這也是TyraBanks決定要摧毀另一小時電視節目的時刻。當然，這也是我拿UPN
實境秀來開玩笑卻又無法抵擋這個誘人節目的時刻。
So as Cycle 6 approaches (why are they called "cycles" anyway? All I associate
with that is menstrual cycles ... not exactly glamorous fashion), let's take a
look back at <i>America's Next Top Model</i>'s long history of unquantifiable
contributions to American culture. And by "unquantifiable contributions to Ame
rican culture," I mean "shoving naive, unprepared young women out into the cold
, sharp jaws of the fashion world, never to be heard from again." There are
five previous winners, each with their own special combination of blind
ambition and poreless skin.
隨著超級名模生死鬥第六季要開始播出，讓我們來回顧一下超級名模生死鬥過去對美國文
化數不盡的貢獻，「數不盡的貢獻」的意思是盡把那些無知、天真、心理層面尚未準備ꘊ
好的年輕女孩推進時尚界冷酷、刻薄的虎口，且往後再也不受重視。之前共有五位冠軍，
她們每一個人都擁有自己獨特的盲目野心及完美肌膚。
(abhouse24:超級名模生死鬥的”一季”稱為”cycle”，和一般的實境秀的”season”
不一樣，這篇的作者對此嗤之以鼻認為”cycle”讓他聯想到”一週期”的月經，而不是高
級的時尚。)
1) Adrienne Curry, Cycle 1 - "Crazy Model." As she climbed her way to the top
of the cycle one heap, Adrienne came off more "white-trash tomboy" than actual
ly crazy. Rather than, you know, do some modelling, Adrienne signed up for
VH1's <i>The Surreal Life</i>, where her true, mentally unhinged nature was
revealed. She latched hoof and claw on to Christopher Knight
(a.k.a. "Peter Brady"), a man 25 years her senior, despite his constant
protests (a restraining order wouldn't have stopped her). Whatever she did,
it worked, and Adrienne undoubtedly made "Momma" Tyra even more proud when
she decided to let VH1 document their romance on <i>My Fair Brady</i>.
Selling her first-born child to the gods of VH1 in exchange for more cash,
Adrianne will soon fart her way through another season of the show where they
document their wedding plans. Keeping her modelling dream alive, you can
currently see her in the February 2006 Playboy (seriously).
第一季: Adrienne Curry-瘋狂模特兒
在Adrienne Curry一路爬上第一季頂端的過程，她顯得比較像「貧窮古怪的中性女孩」
而不是「瘋狂」女孩。在節目結束後，她並沒有繼續做模特兒，反而和VH1's頻道簽約出現
在 The Surreal Life(這也是一個實境秀，主要是讓許多名人住在同一個屋簷下，攝影機
24小時跟拍)。她在這齣實境秀中向世人公佈了她真正的自己。儘管Christopher Knight盡
力抵抗，Adrienne Curry還是把門閂鎖上將她的魔爪伸向比她大25歲的Christopher Knight
也就是Peter Brandy。不管到底Adrienne Curry對Christ做了什麼，她顯然是成功了。讓
大媽Tyra Banks感到更欣慰的是Adrienne Curry決定讓VH1紀錄下自己與Christ之間的羅曼
史，拍攝成「My fait Brandy」(似乎也是個實境秀)。Adrienne Curry為了換取更多的現
金，用自己的第一個孩子與自以為是神的VH1頻道作交換。Adrienne Curry很快的開始著手
另一季的實境秀，紀錄她與Christ的婚禮計畫。Adrienne Curry為了使她的模特兒事業不
停擺，你可以在2006年2月號的花花公子雜誌看到她。真的!
( 譯者abhouse24註: Adrienne Curry是有繼續一些模特兒事業不僅限於花花公子 )
2) Yoanna House, Cycle 2 - "Model Model." Tall, skinny, with a disgustingly
symmetrical face, Yoanna is actually the most "model" out of any winner so far
. She has also kicked off the trend of throwing a bunch of vowels together and
calling it a name (I'm waiting for a future cycle to give us "Oaeiouia" or
something. You know it's going to happen). Yoanna was actually enjoying
herself as an up-and-coming, successful catwalk model before signing on as a
host for the Style Network, thereby increasing her exposure to all of the two
people who watch that channel (one being Boy George, the other being
Star Jones' husband, together, in pajamas). You can currently see her on
the "Style Network" (if that is indeed a real network).
第二季 : Yoanna House-做真正模特兒的模特兒
身材高挑細長，臉蛋超級對稱的Yoanna 事實上是目前為止最像模特兒的冠軍。她也同時
改掉了把一大堆母音組在一起，然後聲稱這一串母音是一個名字的流行趨勢。(我正等著ꔊ
下一集會出現”oaeiouia”這樣或類似的名字)
(譯者abhouse24註:第一季冠軍名字中有4個母音，不過或許不是專指Adrienne)
Yoanna本來打算在時裝走秀台上如魚得水，但在簽下當Style Network的主持人後，
只增加了自己的曝光率於兩個會看這個頻道的人面前一個是Boy George另一個是Star
Jones的老公，而且是一起穿著睡衣看的。目前你可以在Style Network頻道看到她。
(abhouse24註:我本身不太了解Boy George & Star Jones的老公Al)
3) Eva Pigford, Cycle 3 - "Mini-Model." Girl is short. At 5'7", she's the short
est winner of the show yet (although no shorter than Kate Moss, if you really
believe Eva is actually 5'7"). With a nose described as "piggish" and an atti
tude to match (she was nicknamed "Eva the Diva"), Eva strutted her way through
the third season — oh, sorry, the third cycle...oh, fuck it, the third <i>sea
son</i> — until she was the last one standing. Maybe Tyra couldn't see her fr
om behind her judges' table during eliminations, and Eva just kept showing up
until all the other girls had been kicked out. She did guest star on the cance
lled UPN Taye Diggs drama, <i>Kevin Hill</i>. You can currently see her in you
r front pocket.
第三季 : Eva Pigford-小號模特兒
這女孩很嬌小，只有170公分，是所有冠軍中最矮小的(除非你相信Eva真的有170，要不然
她真的比Kate Moss高)
(譯者abhouse24註:Kate Moss是英國籍的超級名模)
Eva有點朝天鼻，像小豬一樣，她的處世態度有點頤指氣使，整個第三季中，她昂首闊步闖
到決賽，最終拿到冠軍。也許Tyra坐在評審桌後方根本無視於Eva的存在，只不過是等到其
他女孩都已經被淘汰後，Eva就順理成章成為冠軍了。Eva在已被停播的節目Kevin Hill擔
任特別來賓，是由UPN製作。
(abhouse24註:在Star World可以看到Kavin Hill)
4) Naima Mora, Cycle 4 - "Coma Model." OK, during season four, I was a full-ou
t fan of Naima. Sure, she was quiet, but she was spunky and weird and said thin
gs that were just the right combination of dorky and unironic (she styled her
hair into a mohawk to "center" herself) that I couldn't help but root for her.
Since she won, she appeared on Tyra Banks' talk show to discuss problems she
had with her twin sister (as if being in the shadow of a Top Model wasn't bad
enough for her sister. Geez, real nice, Naima) and ... not much else.
She did do some commercials that were only aired during <i>Top Model</i>
where she signed autographs for her fans in ... Walgreens. You can currently
see her on reruns of <i>America's Next Top Model</i>.
第四季 : Naima Mora – 昏沉的模特兒
我承認，第四季開播以來，我是Naima的死忠支持者。Naima挺安靜的，但她看起來兇兇的
，有些古怪，而且她說話總是恰到好處，結合了言語木訥及中肯，所以我死心塌地的為她
加油。 (她把自己的髮型塑造成莫霍克族的樣子來提醒自己維持中庸思想) 她贏得冠軍以
後，出席了Tyra Banks的脫口秀，聊到她跟她雙胞胎姊妹Nia 之間的問題。(好像Nia總갊
是活在被稱為「超級名模生死鬥冠軍的姊妹」的頭銜下還不夠她受似的。恩…Naima你做得
真好…)事實上，Naima並沒有太多的其他活動，她是有拍廣告，不過也只有在超級名模生
死鬥中間的空檔才播出，而且內容是她在一家類似屈臣氏的健康保養商場Walgreens前替民
眾簽名。你可以在重播的超級名模生死鬥上看到她。
(abhouse24註:在美國的一些拓荒電影中可以看到mohawk族)
5) Nicole Linkletter, Cycle 5 - "Dairy Queen Model." Looking and acting like
the influence for Parker Posey's character in <i>Waiting for Guffman</i>,
Nicole might be the prettiest Miss Grand Forks, North Dakota that ever sat on
a parade float. After being picked as the winner, Tyra declared that Nicole
was chosen because she was "pure model," which brings into question what the
hell they were looking for the previous seasons. Supporting Tyra's claim, Nic
ole will allegedly be featured in an upcoming couture spread in <i>Elle</i>.
Holy crap! That's a real modelling gig! You can currently see her at the
local community college where she's learning to spell the word "couture."
(abhouse24:我沒有看過第五季對主角不是很了解 就煩請大家幫忙翻一下吧)
Who will be the winner of Cycle 6? Does it even matter? Don't we watch for
the catfights, the tears, and the bitchy confessionals (note to contestants:
you're being <i>recorded</i>)? If we want to watch them actually model, we can
just sneak into the V.I.P.-only crowd at the <i>Walmart Fashion Show</i>. Yes,
I'm dead serious. Not only does Walmart have a fashion show, it was populated
by the "models" from the first four seasons. Momma Tyra must be proud.
誰會是第六季超級名模生死鬥的冠軍呢？
這還重要嗎？
我們看這節目不就為了看她們吵架翻臉、賺人熱淚的淚水、及辛辣的評論告白。
(這些參賽者明明就知道自己會被錄下來公開播放)
如果我們真的想看這些女孩當模特兒，我們可以溜進Walmart 的服裝伸展秀VIP席-也是唯
一有人群的地方。
我是在講正經話，不只是Walmart竟然有服裝伸展秀，而且還很多都是前四季的參賽女孩
大媽Tyra一定感到非常驕傲。
註:"White trash" is usually associated with poverty, though sheer eccentricit
y can play a role.
--
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