Very well said
https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1556442621110141&id=145482782206139
This is an open letter to Liui / Liui Aquino.
I write to you as a fellow member of our international community, with the hope of sharing with you some wisdom regarding dispute handling, professionalism and how to properly raise awareness.
You recently started a series of ongoing posts to condemn and expose the negative conduct, character and moral compass of a cosplayer you insist to keep anonymous.
Since you’re not willing to say the name, I will. You are talking about Japanese cosplayer Reika.
When I saw your posts on my feed, I was disappointed, heartbroken and embarrassed. I was disappointed not by you speaking out against someone or the fact that that someone is my friend, but the way you have chosen to do so in such a wildly unprofessional manner. I was heartbroken to see the reveal of your vindictive character under the happy-go-lucky symbol of positivity that your fans know and love you for being, and by how you have used it to manipulate your most loyal fans. I was embarrassed that our cosplay community, which is already commonly known enough for being dramatic, now has another smear on its reputation.
I've known Reika since 2011. Since then we’ve attended events as fellow casual attendees, featured guests, competition judges, etc.
While all of my experiences with her have been great, she is, like you and me, human – flawed and emotional, susceptible to becoming tired, busy or annoyed, and inevitably going to have likes and dislikes for things and for people. So I can only speak for myself and I won’t even pretend to doubt that she’s capable of making someone feel awful. I’m not here to defend her character or deny your anguish. After all, you are human too and it’s completely acceptable for you to have feelings.
What is not acceptable is the manipulative hate mongering aggression with which you’ve addressed your issues with. Your posts opened by promoting 1.“awareness”, 2. “facts”, 3. “positivity” and being "healthy", and 4. “stay(ing) away from drama”. Yet, your post does exactly zero of those things. You stated that you’re “willing to put (your) reputation on the line and “expose” her, while doing neither.
1. AWARENESS: To raise awareness, you must be specific and purposeful.
I'm aware that you’ve made your issue public because you have no options of resolving this matter privately or through event staff. But by going public, you inevitably reach people who have no knowledge of what’s going on. So it was important for your post to be specific, clean and free of insults and rhetoric.
In your post, comments and follow up posts, you’re so adamant about not naming Reika that you’re “BEGGING (EVERYONE) NOT TO DROP ANY NAMES IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO GUESS THE NAME”. You didn’t expose anyone; you made people guess. You purposely made your information open to assumption. While your “clues” might be obvious enough, your ambiguity has consequences. People will guess wrong, leading to misdirected hate and worry.
You raised confusion, not awareness.
Despite your declaration, you're in fact not “willing to gamble (your) reputation and expose (her) by all means”. You’re not interested in being “respectful to (Reika’s) career” by not saying her name - it was an easy enough guess. You’re interested in firing the first shot as the victim and instigating a witch hunt built on assumption without having to be accountable. It’s a very underhanded and cowardly look from someone of your position.
2. Presenting FACTS when raising awareness: WHAT? WHO? WHY? WHEN? WHERE? HOW?
- WHAT is the problem? – Eg. Talents with bad attitude
- WHO do people need to be wary of? – Eg. Reika
- WHY do you think this? – Eg. She said or did or represented something that was offensive. [INSERT ACTION, QUOTE and CONTEXT that justifies this.]
- WHEN and WHERE did this happen? – Eg. [INSERT TIME] we worked together at [INSERT EVENT].
- HOW does this affect you and people similar to you, and HOW can things be made right? – Eg. It makes you feel [INSERT FEELING]. I would feel better if [INSERT WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO].
You can’t claim to be factual when your post written in the form of an episodic internet series with names like “CHAPTER 1: Juicy Blind Item”. You can’t claim to be “not just personal opinions” when your post are riddled with mockery like “SHE HAS NO SOUL”, taunting like “you picked the wrong fight ma’am” and general hearsay accusations that give no detail like “how do I know? Because I heard...”
You definitely shouldn’t be offering to give “proper advice how to handle this kind of situation” like an “elder brother” if reacting like an undisciplined child is your answer.
3. POSITIVITY and HEALTH: Promoting positivity in a healthy community means bringing people up to your level – not to knocking someone down.
It’s embarrassing to see you trying to be an ambassador for positivity and “praying to God for peace” while slinging threats like “I WILL BURN YOU TO ASHES, BITCH” throughout your posts, and even saying “YOU WILL HATE HER MORE when you see the next story!!! Grrrrrr hahahahaha” when replying to comments.
It’s hypocritical of you to claim to be acting on behalf of the community when you mock Reika fans within your community by calling them “elitist” while flaunting your fans as the “cool, funny, SMART” people.
You must realise that, with the size of your following, you have loyal fans who stick by you, trust and support you no matter what. It’s your duty to them to be transparent and professional and not manipulate their trust. Many of your supporters expressed unconditional support for you. Some have even accepted your words as the absolute truth and expressed hate for Reika from reading your posts. Why? They have faith in you. You've shamelessly abused their trust.
Your post and comments are telling of your intentions. You don’t want peace. You want more hate.
That’s not healthy or positive... for you, your fans or the community.
4. STAYING OUT OF DRAMA: saying it doesn’t mean you’re doing it.
How can you claim not to want drama when your posts are written in the form of an episodic web series, with sensational titles like “CHAPTER 1: Juicy Blind Item”, and attention grabbing introductions like “you want REAL cosplay drama?” and sign outs like “Chapter 2, 3, 4 are coming soon”?
You are, by definition, creating drama.
In life there are many things we can’t control and just as many things we can control. We can’t control how people treat us, what they think of us, or how that makes us feel. But we can can control how we treat others, how we look at ourselves and what we do with our feelings.
You can’t make Reika like you or treat you in the way that you feel good. But you are in control of how you act upon it.
There are two ways you can combat bad attitude:
1. Fight back with equally bad attitude
2. Snuff it out by encouraging good attitude
I can’t help but think that you acted in pure frustrated retaliation.
It’s been hard to see you reveal yourself in this way. The global cosplay community is in continuous struggle to maintain a positive, fun and (for some people) professional environment. With your post, it feels like we’ve lost a star.
I won’t tell you to control or suppress your emotions; you are human after all, like said before.
But please. Reflect before you react. Be kind to others. Your actions speak louder than your words. The people are not stupid or blind. They will notice.
I hope you can find the peace and resolution you are looking for.
- AmenoKitarou (A.K. Wirru)
