Read to the end! This is written by an American black officer. People still deny there's racism in the US. They honestly need new glasses and perhaps new thinking cap as well. Perhaps they need a complete metaphorical makeover.
Starbucks.
Alleged events.
Two black males entered Starbucks to wait for a friend to arrive and did not order anything from the business. Prior to ordering and prior to their friend’s arrival, they decided to attempt to use the restroom. An employee denied the men access to the restroom because they had not purchased anything and asked them to leave. The men calmly refused and the employee called the police. The police arrived at the scene and asked the men to leave the facility. The men refused numerous times. The men were told that they would be arrested if they did not leave the restaurant. The men told the officers to arrest them. The men calmly stood up and allowed the officers to arrest them. They were transported to jail, when Starbucks contacted the police department and stated that they did not want to follow through with charges against the men. They were released.
Why did the police officers have to arrest them? Why didn’t the officers investigate further?
Any employee of a business has the right to ask a person to leave their business. If a person refuses to do so, it is trespassing, period. The modern-day purpose of that charge is to reduce physical conflicts, escalating situations and to protect patrons/employees. The number 1 reason why trespassing is important is because the mentally ill and homeless “camp out” inside of businesses scaring/employees and customers. I trained near downtown and I was frequently called to arrest the mentally ill/ homeless for trespassing. It isn’t to discriminate against them, but they cause disturbances. I removed a guy for clipping his toenails on a table. I removed a woman for bathing in the toilet. I removed a man for masturbating in a trash can next to a family with small children. We have a homeless/ mental illness problem in America and there is no real solution to the problem. Trespassing charges are the quickest way to remove them and the nuisances associated with their behavior.
If you have ever been to a parade or any other event, you know that business often post signs stating that no one can use the restroom unless they are paying customers. You can imagine the nuisances caused by hundreds of drunk people creating a line only to use the restroom, pushing actual customers away from a business. It has caused numerous fights and disturbances. Trespassing charges are the easiest way to get people to leave and go on with their day.
In this Starbucks situation, the police were called and an employee wanted the two men out of the store. When the police arrive, it is their job to arrest someone who refuses to leave after being asked to do so by the business. Period. It doesn’t matter if the men were correct or not. A business can ask someone to leave. This prevents escalation between patrons/ employees for the most part. If a patron has a separate civil issue with the company, they are free to file that complaint or seek justice in other methods. The officers did nothing wrong.
As an officer, I know that most officers hate arresting people for trespassing. In an officer’s heart, they are hoping that the person being asked to leave will be gone prior to arrival. Most officers are disappointed to see the person still at the location. Trespassing charges are way too much paperwork and take too long to process at jail considering the charge. It’s annoying, but needs to be done in some circumstances. The officers asked the men to leave several times hoping they would just leave. They refused and told the officers to take them to jail. The officers were forced to take them to jail. They were professional and did their jobs. This is a civil issue and the issue lies with Starbucks and not the officers.
Racism / Cognitive Bias
It is not my place to accuse the employee of being racist, as I don’t know her heart and I wasn’t there. Racism and cognitive biases towards black people are real. I experience it all the time. Both affect black people the same way, regardless of the intention of the person exhibiting that behavior. It is tiring.
The beauty of this incident occurring at Starbucks as opposed to any other restaurant is that Starbucks encourages and cultivates an environment of loitering. College students spend hours there studying without making a purchase. People go on first dates without spending a dime. Business meetings take place there without a dime being spent. Friends gather there to pass time while waiting to go to a concert. People go there to read books. People go there to hang out. Starbucks has less standing to try to enforce a strict bathroom rule because of the environment that it encourages among citizens.
Many people use the restroom before placing an order. I would never order anything prior to using the restroom. You might miss your name being called for your order. I don’t like leaving my food/beverages unattended while in the restroom. I will not take my food/ beverage in the bathroom.
There was nothing about those two men that should have made this employee think they were mentally ill/ homeless. There was nothing about these men that should have made this employee believe they were a threat. There was nothing about these men that should have made the employee believe they were at a parade and using the restroom without intentions of patronizing their business.
Opinion
I get numerous messages from white people who desire to understand why black people get so upset about situations like this and I will try to explain.
I’ve gone to jail to do an interview with a prisoner, wearing the proper credentials and I had a jail worker put their hand on my chest (and the badge allowing me access) telling me that I can’t enter the facility. I was with a white officer, who was not wearing the proper credentials and he was allowed to pass through. When the white officer saw that I had problems passing through security, he came back and told the security worker that I was an officer. I did everything I was supposed to do, but my credentials meant nothing because her racism/cognitive bias told her that most officers are white males and she decided in her mind that I couldn’t be an officer. What if I punched her for putting her hand on my chest? How would I be viewed? She never looked at my credentials. She only saw my hair and face. I needed my white co-worker to validate my existence.
I was talking on my phone in CVS getting ready to buy toiletries for a trip. I was being followed around the store by an elderly white woman. I ignored it and continued to speak on the phone. Suddenly, an officer was called to the store. I saw the officer, but I didn’t care because I am an officer and I just knew he wasn’t there for me. The officer walked up to me and asked what I was doing in the store. I told him I was shopping. He told me that a suspicious person call came out about me. I started laughing and began to look for the elderly white woman. I knew she called because these things happen to me more than they should. She was peeking around a shelf to see what would happen. I knew she called the police. As he began to ask for my name to check and see if I had warrants, I showed him my badge. He stopped gathering my information. The officer was very professional. It wasn’t his fault that he was called there. If he refused to investigate and I robbed the store, he would have been in trouble. He marched me over to the elderly lady and asked her why she called the police. He showed her my badge and she still didn’t believe that I was an officer. He criticized her behavior and stormed out of the store. Good thing I had my “I’m not just another black person” badge. What happens to those who don’t have one? I needed the white officer to validate my existence.
I was at work for nearly 48 hours finishing up a big case. I went to my car to retrieve something and began to walk back into the police department headquarters. I was wearing plain clothes and wasn’t wearing identification. A white officer was in front of me wearing plain clothes and not wearing identification. A uniformed white officer was exiting the building and asked the white undercover officer, who looked like an extra from “Duck Dynasty,” if he was an officer. The guy stated that he was an officer and the uniformed white officer allowed him to enter the building. I was a few steps behind that exchange and the white uniformed officer asked me for my identification as I began to approach the building. I have been through this production many times so I already knew where this was headed. I told him that I was an officer to see if that same privilege would work for me as I entered the station. He repeated that he needed to see my identification and blocked the door. I was tired from being at work for so long and wasn’t as politically correct as usual. He began to try an enforce policy stating that he needed to see my identification. I told him that I would not show him my identification until he chased down the white, homeless looking guy that he didn’t recognize as an officer and ask him for his identification. He was clearly upset. He was upset that his authority wasn’t respected. He asked why everything had to be about race. I told him I’ve been trying to figure that out my whole life. He plead for me to just show him my identification because it wasn’t a big deal. I told him it was a big deal. I won’t comply because that’s what you want me to do and you want your authority respected. I told him to show me his identification and he refused. He got upset and walked away cursing me out. I wouldn’t have had a problem showing him my identification because it is policy. I wasn’t showing him anything because he trusted the white undercover officer’s word, but mine wasn’t good enough. If only I had a white officer with me to validate my presence at the police department.
What would that officer say about me if I filed a complaint? What if I got loud with him? Would he label me as another angry black woman? Would he tell everyone on the department that I am a race baiter to defend his behavior? I didn’t complain.
I went to Gloria’s (Addison) for a birthday party around 2 pm. I had on Timberland boots, but was dressed fashionable. The security guard let the rest of my group in, but told me that I couldn’t wear tennis shoes inside. I told him that I was wearing boots and he said boots and tennis shoes were the same. I politely asked to speak with the manager. I tried to show him my “get out of looking suspicious” police identification and told him that I wasn’t there to cause problems, I drove an hour to get here and I was there for a birthday party. He rudely said that I wouldn’t be attending any party at their business. There were numerous white guys wearing actual tennis shoes and they were immediately allowed inside the business. I pointed to those guys and asked why those tennis shoes were acceptable? He called more security guards to the scene and said that I would not be allowed inside their business. I missed the party, nor did I desire to be there anymore. I never go to that Gloria’s and I think about that experience every time I pass by it. This may not seem like a big deal to you if you are white. These things don’t happen to you all the time.
Every day black people have to be calmer and pick and choose their battles. It is tiring. I understand the frustration of white officers who don’t understand all the frustration exhibited by blacks. These incidents don’t happen to them daily. Their position is validated just by existing. I understand why white people say “just be compliant.” Generally, people should just comply, but sometimes you have to dig your heels in the sand to effect change.
Again, the police did nothing wrong in this situation. There is no recourse when white people call the police because of their own racism/ cognitive biases. What if those men were supposed to see their daughters off to prom and missed it due to their arrests? What if they had to acknowledge this arrest as they applied for jobs? What if their sons had soccer games that they missed because of this incident?
If these white people didn’t step up and say that they come to Starbucks all the time without ordering and are allowed access to the bathroom, where would those black men be? If those white people refused to get involved because the incident didn’t affect them, where would those black men be? If those white people didn’t record the incident, documenting proof of how calm the black men were, where would those men be? If those white people didn’t raise so much hell, that the company called the police station and refused to press charges against them, where would those black men be? Where would black people be without white chaperones to prove their existence is valid and harmless? Black people should not need validation from white people to exist.
Just as criminals don’t wear signs indicating that they are criminals, racists and people with cognitive biases don’t wear signs indicating their status. If you are white, I encourage you to try to imagine going through incidents like this every day as you buy groceries, pump gas, ride the bus, purchase clothes at the mall, attend parties, go to bars, watch your children play sports, and a long list of other everyday activities. It doesn't make you a racist if you don't insert yourself in situations such as this to defend people. It takes a special person to stand up for people dealing with an issue that will never affect you.
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i will attend the interview on time 在 陳海倫顧問 Consultant Hellen Chen Facebook 的最佳解答
This is an interview that I have done in Dubai about how to love children and not spoil them.
Love and spoiling can be a fine line in one's actions but the results are very different.
Loving someone -- whether a child or a partner or a spouse -- brings joy and happiness to that person, and personal confidence and independence.
Spoiling someone -- whether a child or an adult -- creates hardships for that person down the line and can even ruin the relationship between you and that person. Just ask any difficult teenager, and also ask any husband/wife who has a hard time in their relationships!
I talk about this subject of loving vs spoiling at my love seminar events (http://consultanthellenchen.com/love-u-forever/)
My next event will be on April 28 Saturday.
In addition to coming to Los Angeles to attend the event, you can also attend it online live.
Write/call us at 800-912-0510 for details.
Hellen Chen
i will attend the interview on time 在 施幸余 Facebook 的最佳貼文
Thanks Hong Kong Stories(香港故事)for the interview,hope my story can inspire more people and at the same time encouraging myself to keep enhancing to the next level in swimming!
我是幸余,是香港游泳運動員,曾經參加兩屆奧林匹克運動會。出生於一個小康家庭,小時候學習很多課外活動,溜冰、練琴、畫畫。家人希望我除讀書外,也有其他的興趣和可以作更多嘗試。父母是不懂游泳的,他們也想不到我會學習游泳。小學時我參加了學校的游泳班,這樣便開始學習游泳了。我已經忘記了小時候,我的志願是什麽,但當時一定不會寫上我希望當運動員。小學六年級的時候加入校隊,代表學校參加比賽,後來被香港隊教練賞識,小學六年級便加入香港游泳隊訓練。
開始時,每天早上五時半至七時練習,八時上學,三時半下課,四時便要練習至晚上六時半,七時半才返抵家中。由二千年至零八年一直都是過着這樣的生活,二零零八年後我轉為全職運動員,這樣便開始了我的職業游泳生涯。當中最感激的是我的父母和教導我十三年的陳耀海教練,因為他們很支持我。我剛進入香港隊已經跟隨陳sir,當時我年紀還很小,學習時比較辛苦,但他覺得我有潛質,所以特別照顧我。第一次出外集訓時,有人反對,說我年紀太小,或會阻礙大家訓練,但教練堅持帶我一起去訓練。訓練歸來後,有很大的進步,因為年紀小的關係,所以有很大的進步空間,之後便開始代表香港比賽。
二零零三年我已達到參加奧運的資格,但當時也不清楚奧運是甚麽一回事。我於二零零四年第一次參加奧運,當時十六歲年紀尚小,之後便好像着了迷。二零零八年北京舉辦奧運,因為是中國的地方,所以很希望能夠參加和獲得名次。為了要爭取參加零八年北京奧運,因此我更加發奮,在零五年停了一年學,當時是專心準備亞運會,其實是朝着零八年的北京奧運進發。
二零零五年我獲選為香港傑出運動員,已經是十一年前的事,亦沒有想過自己會游這麽多年。零八年奥運,很多人包括自己是覺得可以參加的,但最後因差一點點,錯失京奧參賽資格。當時我已經二十歲,在香港泳壇來說,我已經算是「高齡運動員」,很多人上了大學之後,因為大學課程與訓練的時間很難配合,便選擇放棄游泳。但我並不想退下,覺得自己是有能力可以做得到,只不過時機還未到來。
當時剛在拔萃女書院完成了中七課程,我作了一個決定:當全職運動員。有些人提議我到外國上大學和繼續訓練,因為有幾位運動員也去了外國,好像大師姐蔡曉慧,從美國回來後,也發展得很好。
我認為不是一定要到外國的,留在香港有甚麽不好?家人與朋友都在香港,我不想離開一個自己長大的地方,所以便留在香港。之後過了四年,又一個奧運來臨了,二零一二年我再次達到參賽資格。香港歷史上是沒有人能夠參加到一屆、錯失下一屆、但可以再一次參加另一屆奧運。有其他人是可以連續參加三屆的,但到第三屆已經是完結了。但我希望參加的這個第三屆,前後已經是十二年的事。
我覺得這是一個堅持,有不同看法的人,可能認為我是執拗。當初我是相信自己,而且身邊也有人支持我。
二零零九年蔡曉慧退役時是二十六歲,我今天已經二十七歲,香港游泳從來都沒有一個女泳員游到這年紀還在以游泳訓練為主的,我是第一人。我亦要證明一個事實,只要不放棄自己,不是沒有機會的。
小時候我的志願,沒有想過是當一名游泳運動員,最初只是為興趣,但過了那麼多年,現在已經成為了職業,而且有一定的成就,希望我的故事能夠啟發更多人。我相信這個社會是需要很多正能量,特別是運動員的體育精神,是值得學習的,大家要不屈不撓,遇到挫折也不應該放棄。
雖然為了游泳與家人相聚的時間減少了,社交生活也很少,但這是我自己的選擇,我願意全心全意投入游泳這項運動。我亦想借這裡感謝每一個支持我,幫助過我的人。謝謝!
I am Szeyu. I am a Hong Kong swimmer. I am also a two-time Olympian. I was raised in a middle class family. When I was young, I took part in many out of school extracurricular activities such as, ice-skating, piano playing and drawing. My parents hoped that I could have other hobbies and ventures besides studying. My parents did not really know how to swim. They also could not imagine that I would learn swimming. As a child, I attended school swimming classes and began to learn how to swim. At that time, I have forgotten what I wanted to be when I grow up. But I definitely did not write down that I wished to become an athlete. I joined the school swimming team when I was in Primary six. I represented my school at competitions. Eventually, a Hong Kong coach discovered me. I joined the Hong Kong Swimming team to train when I was in Primary six.
In the beginning, I had to practice from five thirty to seven thirty in the morning each day. At eight o’clock I would go to school. I would leave school at three thirty. Then, at four o’clock I would practice until six thirty in the evening. I would return home at seven thirty. From 2000 to 2008, my days were spent this way. I became a full-time athlete post-2008. My professional swimming life began. I am most grateful for my parents and my coach, Mr. Chan Yiu Hoi, who has taught me for 13 years. It is because they have really supported me. I was Chan Sir’s student once I joined the Hong Kong swimming team. I was really young at that time. My training was quite difficult. But he thought I had potential. That was why he took particular good care of me. Someone opposed when I first went to group training. That person said I was too young and would disrupt others’ training. But my coach insisted on taking me to the trainings. After training, I improved immensely. As I was still young, I had a lot of room for improvement. I later represented Hong Kong to compete.
In 2003, I qualified to participate in the Olympic Games. At that time, I really did not quite know what the Olympic Games were. I first took part in the Olympic Games in 2004. I was only 16 and still young. After that, I became obsessed with the Olympic Games. In 2008, I really wanted to attend the Beijing Olympic Games and have a place because it was a Chinese city. In order to qualify for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, I worked even harder. In 2005, I stopped my studies for a year to concentrate for the Asian Games. In turn, it helped to pave way for the Beijing Olympic Games.
In 2005, I received the Hong Kong Outstanding Athlete Award. It was already 11 years ago. I never thought I could swim for so many years. In 2008, many people, including myself, thought I could take part in the Olympic Games. But in the end, I lacked a little bit of something and lost the trials. I was already 20 years old that year. In the Hong Kong swimming scene, I was already considered an ‘old athlete’. Many people quit swimming when they go to university because they find it hard to juggle their academic schedule with their training schedule. But I did not want to back out. I thought I still had the potential to do it but it was just not the right time.
At that time, I just completed my Form 7 studies at Diocesan Girls’ School. I made the decision to become a fulltime swimmer. Some people recommended me to go study abroad and continue with my training because a few athletes also headed overseas. For instance, Choi Hiu Wai returned from the United States and performed very well in Hong Kong.
I felt it was not a must to go overseas. What was wrong with living in Hong Kong? My family and friends are in Hong Kong. I did not want to leave the place where I grew up in. That was why I stayed in Hong Kong. After 4 years, the Olympic Games arrived. I qualified to participate again in 2012. Something like this has never happened in Hong Kong history before: taking part in the Olympic Games, losing in the next one but then participating in the coming Olympic Games again. Others can take part in three consecutive Olympic Games but by the third Olympic Games, it is the end for them. It has been 12 years between the beginning till the end of my taking part in the Olympic Games.
I think it is a sense of persistence. Some people have a different perspective. Some think I am stubborn. I believed in myself at first and those around me supported me.
In 2009, Choi Hiu Wai stepped down from swimming at 26 years of age. I am now 27 years old today. There has never been a female swimmer in the Hong Kong swimming team who is still swimming and training at this age. I am the first. I also need to prove a truth. If you do not give up on yourself, you will always have a chance.
When I was young I did not aspire to become a swimmer. It was just an interest. But over so many years, it is now my career and I feel I have gained some level of success. I hope my story can inspire many other people. I believe this society needs a lot of positive energy. The spirit of an athlete is worth learning from. We should be strong and should not easily give up when facing adversity.
I have not been able to spend as much time with my family and out socializing but it is my choice. I am fully and whole-heartedly dedicated to swimming. I am also grateful to those who support me and have helped me. Thank you!
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